Did you know what career you wanted to pursue when you were six? My daughter did. That summer we took our first plane flight, and she spent three hours staring out the window, enamored by the blue sky, puffy clouds, and distant storms. There was just something about soaring in the sky that lit a fire in her. Before we landed, she’d decided she wanted to become a pilot. Fast forward a decade and we watched her take off for her first flying lesson. Way down on the ground, it was a pretty epic moment for me.
A few months in, she is still on board with chasing this profession. That could change, of course. Plenty of kids switch career paths, and I know these lessons could wind up being a very expensive hobby. But I’m OK with that because she’s gaining so much more than just how to steer an aircraft. She’s seeing the world from a different vantage point, and that’s something everyone should try. Seeing things from other perspectives builds character and is one way parents can teach empathy to kids. Your daughter or son may never handle the controls of a plane, but we can teach them how to see things from another’s point of view. Here are 5 decisions that help kids find a fresh perspective.
1. Reading More
My oldest child is an avid reader. She has more than 150 books in her personal collection and often lends out her favorites. Many of the stories are set in faraway places and in different cultures—from Native American to Japanese communities and more. One book in particular, The Sign of the Beaver, opened her eyes to what can happen when we embrace new perspectives. It tells the story of a teenage white settler who learns an entirely different culture after befriending an Indian boy in the harsh wilderness of Maine. She found similar culture benefits from reading I Rode A Horse of Milk White Jade, which is set in Mongolia, The Kite Fighters, set in Korea, and The Master Puppeteer, set in Japan.
When kids read books, they are transported somewhere else. One passage from The Kite Fighters illustrates this well. Linda Sue Park wrote, “Kee-sup had been given the kite as a birthday present several days before, as part of the New Year celebration. The New Year was everyone’s birthday. It didn’t matter on which date you were born; you added a year to your age at the New Year holiday.” That tradition would be a revelation to a kid like my daughter who didn’t grow up in Korea. Park’s writing introduced her to a new culture and perspective. It’s also a good way to teach empathy to kids. Hopefully, reading gives them respect for other people and provides a gateway to discovery.
2. Leaving Your Comfort Zone
It’s much easier to excel at what you know than struggle in what you don’t. Getting straight A’s in easy classes probably feels better than fighting to make C’s in advanced courses. Left on their own, many kids would opt not to take on challenges. But this is where dads come in. We can help kids see the opportunities that wait just outside of their comfort zones. That’s where growth happens. It’s how kids develop empathy, critical thinking, and resilience. All of that leads them to new perspectives, but they may need a gentle push to get there. We talked about how to do this in Episode 114 of the All Pro Dad podcast.
Getting outside their comfort zone could look like having more responsibility as a team captain, taking a part-time job doing manual labor, or having a potentially contentious conversation with a friend. These activities (among others) will bring new perspectives that kids are unlikely to learn in their comfort zones. It may be scary for them, but ultimately for their good. Encourage your kids to step out in faith.
3. Zooming Out Before You React
I’ve always thought sitting courtside at a basketball game was overrated. And the money? I would never pay $1,500 for those seats. Sure, you’re closer to the action and can hear the players talking to each other, but you just can’t see the game as well. Did he step out of bounds? Was his foot on the three-point line? Down low, it’s hard to tell. But when you sit up higher, your perspective changes. You can see players’ movements, notice plays unfolding, and watch decisions being made. There is less obstruction up high. The game becomes clearer when we zoom out.
The same goes for your kids. If they get so focused on the things right in front of them and fail to zoom out, they may react poorly. I’ve done this with my kids when someone cuts us off in traffic. We have no idea if he’s being a jerk or rushing to the hospital, and I remind the backseat drivers not to jump to conclusions. We can teach empathy to kids by showing them different perspectives. Zooming out helps kids consider every piece of the puzzle.
4. Asking For Others’ Opinions
Your perspective impacts your decision-making. But if you never ask for others’ thoughts, you’ll default to the easiest option. This is problematic because kids have so few experiences to draw from. If they don’t ask for others’ perspectives, they’re stuck choosing from their own small sample size. Asking doesn’t mean agreeing, but not taking the time to consider other viewpoints won’t help you grow or strengthen your own.
There are multiple Proverbs that double down on this idea. Proverbs 15:22 says, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” Proverbs 12:15 says, “The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.” Your children’s decision-making benefits from asking others how they should proceed. Others can see things your kids can’t. They’ll have tried and failed, or succeeded, and that’s knowledge your kids will need. Make sure your kids know you are always available for advice. They can come to you seeking wisdom. Encourage your kids to pray before making difficult decisions as well. Consider praying with them too.
5. Looking at Things From God’s Perspective
It’s wise to ask others for help, but it’s even wiser to try and see things through God’s eyes. It’s what the entire book of Job is about. Job was a man whose life was crumbling all around him. He lost his livelihood, along with his children, in a horrible accident, and was struck by painful sores all over his body. But God spoke to him and reassured him. In Job 38:4-7, he asks Job, “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell me, if you know so much. Who determined its dimensions and stretched out the surveying line? What supports its foundations, and who laid its cornerstone as the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?” His entire speech lasts 70 verses. Essentially, God was asking, “Do you know better than I do?”
The answer for all of us is “no.” But that’s a hard lesson to swallow. Our kids need to learn this lesson, but it starts with dads. Have you considered that God’s way may be best? That His perspective is the right one? If he made the world, as he told Job, then maybe his perspective carries a little more weight than the people who live in it. If your kids feel comfortable asking for your perspective, explain to them that a great next step is asking God for His.
Sound off: How can you use different perspectives to teach empathy to kids?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What does it mean to have perspective?”