There are some recurring statements I’ve been hearing from parents lately when talking about their daughters.
“She can’t handle any more.”
“We’re working on her anxiety right now.”
“She’s been really stressed out about school.”
“Her therapist says she’s making progress.”
“She’s so amped up right now. She keeps shutting down.”
Have you been hearing similar things? Can you relate to these statements with your daughter? A recent Pew Research Center survey revealed that girls struggle with anxiety and depression more than boys. What’s happening with our daughters and how can we help? Let’s take a look.
Why do girls struggle more with depression and anxiety?
There are a couple of reasons. First, they tend to put more pressure on themselves to succeed academically, or at the very least worry about it more. Second, there’s the pressure to look good and be agreeable. Those are two burdens our society continues to place on young girls. According to the Pew survey, 55% of girls feel pressure to look good, compared to 39% of boys.
Doomscrolling, endlessly looking through violent or negative news or stories, is another possible reason for girls’ depression and anxiety. While a significant amount of boys and girls doomscroll regularly, Harvard Health says women tend to be hit harder by it. This is mainly because the people being hurt in those stories tend to be women and children.
However, it may also be chemical. According to the Child Mind Institute, as girls enter puberty, they become twice as likely as boys to suffer from a mood disorder, which involve more intense and persistent fluctuations in moods and often also depression. The Institute goes on to say that girls are more hardwired for emotional sensitivity. Their emotions can build on each other, so they actually become anxious about being anxious and depressed.
Is there good news?
Although girls are more susceptible to depression and anxiety, they tend to have more of a support system around them. Generally, girls are often better at forming close relationships. So, while they struggle with complex emotions and conditions like anxiety and depression, they have more opportunities to process them with friends.
What should we do as dads?
Hear them out and empathize, even when we don’t understand why they are so upset or we think what they are dealing with is “not that big a deal.” We need to just let them talk. Be tender and understanding. Then, they need to know that stress is a normal part of life. We’re not going to walk through life stress free. In his sermon on the mount, Jesus said that each day has trouble (Matthew 6:34). Every day, we have challenges to face, suffering to endure, and problems to solve. So, feeling some stress and anxiety is normal. We often feel like we need to fix it for them. We don’t. It’s good to let them struggle through some things. It builds their character, endurance, and even their self confidence.
However, if you’re noticing persistent patterns that seem more troubling or intense then seek out professional guidance. This might be persistent tantrums, isolation, or employing unhealthy coping mechanisms such as cutting.
Sound off: What are some other things we can do to help teen girls struggling with anxiety and depression?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What brings you the most anxiety? How do you deal with it?”