Is your teen anxious? The answer is more than likely “yes.” More than one in three teenagers in America has been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Additionally, the typical teen anxiety around fitting in, making decisions about the future, and learning who they are makes being a teen pretty tough!
So what’s a dad to do? Well, there are lots of strategies for helping teens thrive and survive to become functional adults. In fact, you can get some great ideas here! But what about specific strategies to help with anxiety? How do we support an anxious teen so he or she doesn’t just survive, but actually thrives in a season when there is so much to be anxious about? Here are 5 strategies for parenting an anxious teen.
1. Be present.
Nothing creates stability in your teen’s world like you do. Friends come and go. Teachers and coaches change. Culture and technology are evolving rapidly. Your teen needs to have something she can depend on. The challenge, of course, is that a natural part of her development will also have her pushing against you. But don’t take the bait. Your teen’s job is to push you away, but your job is to stay put. Give her space, but remain present. Check in after school, require her to eat dinner with you, grab a few minutes before bed, be around to help with homework, and show up to her activities. It can be difficult to know how to raise a teenager who struggles with anxiety, but start with being present.
2. Set boundaries.
Your teen will push boundaries. This is natural, even good. She’s learning who she is and what she values. She’s testing the world to see how it works. But that doesn’t change the fact that she needs boundaries. Set them for her. She’ll probably hate it, but she also needs it. When everything is an option, it can heighten anxiety, especially for our teens. Give her clarity around your expectations and stick with them. Reasonable, age-appropriate boundaries for teens create order in an otherwise chaotic world.
3. Get advice.
In case you weren’t aware, you don’t know everything. You may know a lot, but there will most certainly be times when you’re trying to figure out how to raise a teenager struggling with anxiety, and you will not know what to do. When this happens, be humble enough to ask for help. Brainstorm with your wife. Call your dad. Process with a trusted friend. Don’t be so arrogant as to assume you can just figure it out on your own. There’s no shame in asking for help, but there is something to be said about being too prideful to ask at all.
4. Get her outside.
I know she loves hanging out on her phone in her room or watching the latest streaming series in the living room. But she was not made to be a cave dweller. She was made to thrive outside. According to the Cleveland Clinic, being in nature is associated with a whole host of positive mental and physical benefits. So look for ways to encourage outdoor activities.
Take a walk together. When you vacation, look for opportunities to get in nature that promote awe and wonder. The world you live in was designed to help with anxiety. You don’t have to look much farther than outside your front door.
5. Pray with them.
If your teen is worried about something, try praying with them. It can reduce anxiety in as little as five minutes, according to the University of Maryland School of Medicine. It also teaches your teen a good way to cope with the stressors of the world, while reminding them that they don’t have to handle their anxiety alone. If you want to raise a teenager who can cope with stress and anxiety better, teach them how to pray by setting aside some time each day—maybe before bed—and praying out loud together.
Sound off: What strategies have been most helpful for you in raising a teenager who struggles with anxiety?
In this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast, the hosts address the intense emotional pressure teens face today and how parents can help them navigate it.
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What is most helpful for you when you’re feeling anxious?”