Ep. 142 – Why Kids Stop Listening to Their Parents
Have your kids ever ignored you? Disobeyed you? These can be challenging moments for dads. We all want our kids to listen to us. What happens if they stop? In this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast, host Ted Lowe is joined by BJ Foster and Bobby Lewis to dive into how dads can become the kind of people their kids trust and listen to consistently.
Why This Matters
Kids are far more likely to embrace a father’s wisdom when they trust his character.
Key Takeaways
-Credibility is built through consistency.
Kids notice when our actions don’t match our words. Living out what we teach earns trust, while hypocrisy quickly destroys it.
-Influence grows when we listen more than we lecture.
Children are much more receptive when they feel heard. Asking thoughtful questions and genuinely listening often teaches more than lengthy speeches.
-Trust is strengthened by honesty, humility, and conviction.
Being truthful, admitting when we’re wrong, holding healthy boundaries, and respectfully engaging differing viewpoints make dads the kind of leaders kids naturally want to follow.
Practical Tips for Dads
1. Listen before you teach.
Ask questions, seek to understand your child’s perspective, and resist the urge to immediately lecture or solve every problem.
2. Live what you believe.
Be consistent, tell the truth—even in small matters—and admit mistakes quickly. Authenticity builds long-term influence.
3. Hold firm convictions with humility.
Maintain clear boundaries, stay open to learning, and disagree respectfully without dismissing your child’s thoughts or concerns.
Important Episode Timestamps
[00:00] How Do You Become Someone Your Kids Actually Want to Learn From?
A study showing 84% of teens distrust journalists sparks a broader conversation about how dads can become trustworthy, credible voices in their kids’ lives.
[00:34] What Teens Think About Journalists and What That Means for Dads
Bobby, a former reporter, shares the awkward moment his father-in-law said he couldn’t trust reporters at Thanksgiving dinner.
[02:35] Thing to Avoid #1: Being Inconsistent
Inconsistency is one of the fastest ways to lose credibility with your kids.
[04:37] Thing to Avoid #2: Being Dogmatic
The dads draw the line between holding firm on genuine black-and-white truths and refusing to engage with the gray areas of life.
[08:22] Thing to Avoid #3: Lecturing More Than You Listen
No one has ever been lectured into feeling better. Kids need us to listen more than lecture. That also how to get your kids to listen.
[09:35] Thing to Avoid #4: Not Holding Boundaries
Boundaries give kids a sense of security. Ted shares a mentor’s approach of presenting consequences instead of wielding them as weapons.
[11:00] Thing to Avoid #5: Being Dismissive
BJ explains why dismissing what your kids care about is like closing yourself in a closet and talking to no one.
[13:36] Thing to Avoid #6: Lying to Your Kids
Every lie chips away at trust. Make honesty the non-negotiable foundation of your relationship with your kids.
[14:44] What to Do Instead: Listen, Learn, and Disagree With Respect
The dads walk through how to get your kids to listen by disagreeing in a way that keeps the conversation going rather than shutting it down.
[18:07] This Week’s Pro Move
Ask your kids their opinion on something important this week. Listen without correcting or lecturing and see what you learn from them.
Sponsor:
The All Pro Dad Podcast is proudly brought to you by Family First, a nonprofit dedicated to equipping parents with resources to strengthen their families. Learn more at FamilyFirst.net.
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