Is your marriage in a rough season? Are you and your wife arguing more? Struggling to connect? You’re not the only one. In this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast, host Ted Lowe is joined by BJ Foster to talk about difficulties in marriage, the fights that result, and how not to give up on the relationship.

Why This Matters

No marriage is perfect, but all marriages are worth fighting for.

Key Takeaways

• -Most couples fight: A YouGov poll revealed that 30% of couples argue weekly.
• -Few couples seek help: As few as 10% of couples see a counselor before splitting up.
• -The ‘D’ word matters: Couples who allow divorce to be option are more likely to separate.

6 Ways to NOT Give Up on Your Marriage

1. 1. Ask a better question.
   Instead of asking, “Is this marriage working for me?” ask, “What am I doing to make this marriage work?”
2. 2. Get help.
   There’s no shame in going to counseling.
3. 3. Take divorce off the table. 
   For most couples, divorce is the not the answer because their marriage can be fixed!
   4. Take a vacation from your issues.
   Set aside time when you aren’t trying to figure out what is wrong and enjoy what is right.
   5. Surround your marriage  
   Surround your marriage with people who are for your marriage and not just you. 
   6. Be brave.  
   Fight for the courage to do the hard, uncomfortable, and self-sacrificing things to save your family.
4.  

Important Episode Timestamps

00:00 – 02:05 | The Little Fights That Add Up
Ted and BJ joke through “silly” marital disagreements that often point to deeper issues.

02:05 – 04:17 | When Small Annoyances Become Big Problems
The guys explain how repeated petty conflicts slowly build resentment and make couples question their connection.

04:17 – 05:53 | Asking the Hard Question: Is This Worth Fighting For?
They acknowledge how many couples reach a point where they doubt whether they can or should keep going.

05:53 – 07:43 | The Marriage Happiness U-Curve
Research shows many couples dip in happiness during kid-raising years but rise again when they stay intentional and connected.

07:43 – 09:35 | The Four Horsemen That Destroy Marriages
Ted breaks down Dr. John Gottman’s four destructive patterns—criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt.

09:35 – 11:23 | How Your Tone and Reactions Shape Conflict
The hosts explain how tone, body language, and emotional responses either open the door to healing—or shut it down.

11:23 – 14:59 | Ask a Better Question
Instead of “Is this marriage working for me?” ask, “What am I doing to make this marriage work?”

14:59 – 20:15 | Don’t Wait to Get Help
Ted and BJ discuss counseling, success rates, intensives, and why couples should seek help before things hit crisis level.

20:15 – 23:26 | Take a Vacation From Your Issues
Taking temporary breaks from conflict can help couples reconnect through laughter and rest.

23:26 – End | Surround Yourself With Marriage-Builders
Strong marriages need strong community. Find people to lean on.

Pro Move:
Bravely, humbly, ask your wife, “What is one thing I can do to love and serve you this week?”  (Once she responds, simply say, “Thanks for letting me know.” Then do it. If your wife says it’s too late, talk to an expert.)  

Sponsor:
The All Pro Dad Podcast is proudly brought to you by Family First, a nonprofit dedicated to equipping parents with resources to strengthen their families. Learn more at FamilyFirst.net.