Have you ever noticed that it is a rare sight to see a man at a baby shower? I’ve never understood that. My wife and I always had fun gathering with friends to celebrate the upcoming birth of a child. I remember when Kirsten was pregnant with our son Isaiah. We hosted a bunch of friends at our home and played fun games, like guessing the flavor of jars of baby food based solely on smell. It was hilarious and a great reason to gather with friends. A few of my teammates even came!
I love looking back on times like those, when I could have checked out and done something a little “more manly,” but chose to participate. Parenting offers a ton of those opportunities. It’s important for dads to be active participants in their kids’ lives. It shows them you care, but it’s also a way to prevent us from feeling regret for missing special moments. This isn’t meant to sound preachy. It’s meant as a reminder to make sure you’re going all in as a parent. Here are 5 childhood moments you’ll regret ignoring.
1. Diaper Changes
There are plenty of dads out there who bow out of diaper duty. “Anything else,” they’ll say. That attitude was much more commonplace in previous generations, but it still lingers. Dads who opt out of this important childhood moment are missing the chance to serve their tiny son or daughter. They are vulnerable, helpless, and needy. You can step in here and fix a problem, something men love to do. Sure, it’s gross. But it’s not something to ignore.
2. Bath Time
Bath time is bonding time. Yes, it can be difficult, or something that just has to get done, but it’s also a chance to bond with your son or daughter and show love through service. Do what I do and incorporate some music! In our home, we’re big fans of “Pretty Brown Eyes” by Mint Condition. Get clean, have fun, and make memories. By age six or seven, they’ll have graduated to bathing themselves. Enjoy it while it lasts.
3. Games or Recitals
FinanceBuzz surveyed working dads and found that two-thirds of them felt guilty for missing out on things like T-ball games and piano recitals due to work obligations. I certainly missed kid events during my NFL career. That’s part of the work–life balance we all have to manage. But, when you can be there, make the effort to show up to your kids’ big activities. They’ll notice your presence and cherish your support.
4. Injuries
When your kids are injured, be the nurturer they need. This may take you outside your comfort zone. If that’s the case, think of times you’ve been hurt. This happened to me a lot in my NFL career. It is awful. The physical pain is often paired with fear. That’s a tough combo, especially for kids. When yours are injured, offer them words of reassurance, comfort, and care. Don’t leave doctor’s trips to Mom, either. Step up and help them heal up.
5. Crushes
It can make dads sad to consider that their kids are growing up. My oldest is around the age when many kids start dating. That can be a scary part of life for both the child and you. But it’s an important part of life too. You dated. They want to as well. So, embrace the new season of life. Lean into that moment and don’t be content to be a bystander. Guide your kids through their feelings. Point out what behavior aligns with your family values. Talk about expectations, boundaries, and desires. You don’t want to ignore your role in this. You can be part of shaping a great relationship for your child.
Sound off: Do you know how to be a present father? What do you do?
Huddle up with your kids and ask: “What upcoming event are you looking forward to the most?”