“Parenting teens is the worst!” If I’m honest, even if I haven’t said those exact words, I’ve felt them. Parenting teens can press lots of buttons: their need to differentiate from you, their need to test limits, and the odors! And through it all, we often feel culturally out of touch.
However, I think parenting teens is also amazing. And the truth is, the story we tell ourselves about our kids often shapes our parenting experience. So while parenting teens is far from easy, here are 5 reasons it’s the best.
1. You can finally have a deep conversation.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the fact that toddlers lose it when you say the word “poop.” That said, poop jokes can only get you so far. There’s something amazing that happens when your kids begin to ask deeper questions about life, God, the opposite gender, friendship, and other weighty topics that pop up when you’re raising teenagers. It’s not that these conversations are easy or even calm all the time (they aren’t), but they are incredibly consequential and meaningful.
2. You can share interests.
I’ll never forget taking my kids to see LeBron James play in Cleveland. Or when I took my 15-year-old daughter to a U2 concert, and she bought a shirt. Or that time, my 17-year-old and I went to a sports bar to watch a WNBA game, then spent the evening walking around downtown Philly. It’s great to enjoy the things you love with your children. Whether it’s an experience, a movie, or a band, passing on things you love to your kids and watching them love them back is what makes parenting a blast. Raising teenagers can be the best time to make lasting memories as they learn to love the things you love.
3. You learn to ask for help.
Parenting teens was the first time I needed to look elsewhere for answers. Sure, infants and toddlers can be exhausting physically. But nothing prepares you for the angst and intelligence of a teenager testing her limits. It was during these years that my wife and I really had to ask for help–from friends, books, podcasts, and each other. And of course, it was during these years that we learned a ton. Raising teenagers tested our limits, but it also taught us how to move past them.
4. You learn to take yourself less seriously.
I used to think I was pretty cool until I had teenagers. Suddenly, I became the dad I never thought I’d be. I thought I’d be the dad who was culturally attuned and able to relate. Then came TikTok, Tayler Swift, and skinny jeans. The more I tried to engage, the sillier I looked, and the more obvious the gap between my kids and me became. At first, I was frustrated and defensive about this. But eventually, I learned it was OK to be a dorky dad as long as I was a dorky dad who loved my kids and showed up, even when it embarrassed them. When you’re raising teenagers, you learn to take yourself less seriously. And that’s a good thing for more than just parenting.
5. You get to see them grow up.
Babies and toddlers are adorable. Pre-teens are sweet and energetic. But there’s just something about the way a teen slowly but surely learns independence, discovers herself, builds (and sometimes loses) confidence, and takes risks. It can be chaotic and terrifying, but it’s also thrilling and inspiring. They may make more mistakes than good choices, but all along the way, you watch them become someone totally (and sometimes frustratingly) unique from you. Essentially, you get to see them grow up. And that, of course, is the point.
Sound off: What do you enjoy about raising teenagers?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What’s the best part about growing up?”