My son measured, marked, and slid the wood into place in the miter saw. As he leaned forward and pulled the trigger handle, he recoiled slightly at the sudden speed and sound. “It’s OK,” I reassured him. “Just pay attention and watch what you’re doing.” I was filled with pride as he made cut after cut for that afternoon’s project: building a bench for the kitchen table.
One of my great joys as a dad has been involving my children in home improvement projects. But whenever we pull out a power tool, I show them both what it can do and how they should operate it. I don’t want my kids to be scared of tools but to be willing to use them properly and safely. Here are 5 other things teens shouldn’t fear but, instead, should respect.
1. Driving
Many teenagers count down the days until their sixteenth birthday, when they are finally old enough to get their driver’s license. But some are hesitant, which might be part of a fear of growing up. There’s no question that driving allows one a lot of freedom to go almost anywhere you want. At the same time, when misused, driving can hurt or even kill. Teach your teens a responsible driver can’t become complacent on the road out of respect for the health of others and themselves. They don’t have to be afraid to drive; they just have to respect the privilege.
2. Dating and Relationships
It’s an exciting time when your kid finds that someone else wants to be close to him or her. Holding hands and first kisses can be intoxicating, leading teens to get carried away and to do things they may later regret. Make sure teens understand that healthy intimacy takes time, and that there needs to be healthy limits and guardrails in what you do and don’t do with a boyfriend or a girlfriend.
3. Time Spent Online
Growing up in the 21st century has opened a new world for our teens. They know that the internet allows them access to limitless information, but they also hear from parents and teachers that they need to watch out for dangerous things like pornography, scams, and online predators. Help your kids understand how to be safe when they are on a screen, and the times that they (or you) might need to put the phone down.
4. Money
A first job and a first paycheck can (rightly) make a teen feel a new sense of freedom. They are no longer dependent on their parents to buy all their clothing or other items on a teenage wish list. Sadly, without self-control that paycheck can quickly evaporate. Teach your teens how to be responsible with money by balancing the things they want to buy with the need to plan ahead, to save, and to give to others.
5. Conflict
Teenagers will find themselves in arguments with teachers, bosses, friends, siblings, and even their parents. Conflict is problematic when your kid finds that instead of disagreeing with an idea or situation, they’ve decided that a person is somehow bad. This can turn an argument into something far more hurtful. Even when it’s hard, teens shouldn’t shy away from conflict. Some might avoid it or even fear it, as part of a fear of growing up. Teach teenagers how to fight fair by listening to others and by finding healthy ways to express how they feel about a situation.
Sound off: What else might a kid fear who has a fear of growing up?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What are the top three things that you’re afraid of?”