Recently, my son finished playing his very last high school basketball game. It was both a proud dad moment and a bittersweet moment, as I knew I’d miss watching him on the court. And I told him so.
However, at that moment, I realized just how many times I’d thought to myself “I really enjoy watching my son play basketball” and how few times I’d actually expressed that to my son. As I watched that very last game, I wished I would have intentionally told him that more. If any dad is honest, there are a lot of things dads don’t do but should. Here are 3 things dads need to do more often.
1. Vocalize your feelings.
Dads can easily become all business and little emotion, leaving that for Mom to deal with. However, sometimes, our children need to see our emotions so we can better relate to each other. It’s healthy for both of us. Vocalizing our feelings expresses love and prevents future regret. This can be as simple as saying the words “I love you,” “I’m so proud of you,” or just telling them how much joy it brings you watching them excel at the things they’re passionate about. When you think of something positive, share it! Turn those big hidden feelings into blessings for your family.
2. Hug your kids.
When all our kids were young, hugging was a natural part of daily family life for us. Now that we have two teenage sons at home, I’m sometimes surprised how much they still enjoy a good loving squeeze from Dad on a regular basis. According to Curious Mind Magazine, a parent’s consistent physical affection is scientifically proven to help produce smarter, healthier, and happier children. So why don’t we do it more often? I’d challenge you to hug your kids every day for the next week and see how they respond. You might just be surprised. Either way, they’ll definitely feel the love.
3. Say “I’m sorry.”
As dads, we mess up. And most of the time, our kids know it when we do. It might be losing our temper, snapping at our kids, or disrespecting their mom. One of the best ways to provide a loving and peaceful environment in our home is to lead the way in being real over being right. And a great way to be real is to apologize. We naturally resist this and instead try to protect our image. In reality, saying “I’m sorry” might just be one of the most powerful things you can do to protect your children from future father wounds. When you’re in the wrong, and your child knows you’re in the wrong, you can’t afford to leave it like that. Apologize.
Sound off: Which of these three things could you prioritize and do more often this week?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “Do you find it easy or hard to apologize to others when you’ve hurt them? Why?”