It’s common to think of kids as care-free. They haven’t had their joy and optimism beaten out of them by 9-5 jobs and paying bills and modern politics. Because of this, they just act differently than most adults. In fact, when we see adults behave in these ways, we often refer to them as childish.
But what if behaving “childishly” might actually be a parenting parable? After all, didn’t Jesus say, “the Kingdom of Heaven belongs” to people who are like children? (Matthew 19:14) Now there’s a lot of thoughts about what that might mean, but at a minimum, it tells us we have something to learn from the kids. Maybe kids offer us useful hacks for everyday life. In that vein, here are 5 life hacks my kids have taught me.
1. Sing…a lot.
There are few things I love as much as hearing my 2 year old belt out a song from another room. No one is watching. It’s not a performance. He’s just singing. But most adults–especially men–wouldn’t be caught dead singing out loud. Maybe you sing in the shower or in the car, but for most of us, episodes of belting our heart out are few and far between. This is a shame because singing is literally good for you. From releasing endorphins and dopamine, to reducing stress and increasing social connections, there is a long list of positive effects that singing has on humans. So, next time you hear your toddler belt out “If You’re Happy and You Know It,” join him! Not only will it strengthen your bond, but it’s a great way to be happier.
2. Laugh easily.
Maybe the one thing I enjoy as much as hearing my toddler sing is hearing him laugh. He and his brother laugh a lot! It’s incredibly common for them to belly laugh at something I don’t even understand. When was the last time you belly-laughed? Did you know that laughter is good for you? Much like singing, there are physiological realities that take place when you laugh. It relieves stress, improves your mood, and positively affects your relationships. So take a cue from a toddler, and laugh more often.
3. See the best in people.
When my son was young, we were a little worried he would get kidnapped. He had no problem walking up to a stranger anywhere and acting like they were best friends. It was endearing, if not a bit unsettling for his parents. But a lot of kids are quick to assume the best in the people around them. They are still naïve enough to believe that no one would intentionally hurt them. And while you and I know better, and many of us have reasons to be wary, it could do us some good to take a cue from our kids and see the best in the people around us. Sure, you might get burned once in a while, but you will also likely deepen relationships in ways that bring real value to your life.
4. Be honest.
Kids are brutally honest. Sometimes this is hilarious, like when your toddler tells someone about the fact that they just pooped. Sometimes this is uncomfortable, like when your toddler tells someone that you just pooped. Regardless, you can generally count on them to be honest. And, while you probably need to be a bit more filtered than your toddler, we would all be better off if we practiced saying what is true about ourselves, others, and the world. Certainly, we need to do this with an eye toward how others will receive it. As Scripture says, “Speak the truth in love,” but side-stepping the truth out of fear for hurting other’s feelings is a bad deal for everyone.
5. Tell people “I love you.”
Children are quick to say “I love you” and mean it. This is broadly applied and received warmly by pretty much everyone. At some point, though, the words “I love you” become reserved for either romantic partners or parent/child relationships (and even then, it can sadly be a rarity). But what if we took a cue from our kids and began saying “I love you” a bit more freely? I don’t mean we throw it around so much that it becomes meaningless. But what if we practiced saying it regularly to our wives and kids and then, perhaps occasionally, to close friends. For men, this can be incredibly awkward, but also powerful. After all, the idea that love is something connected to physical attraction and romance is a tragic gutting of one of the most powerful words in the English language. But we can reclaim the imagery that Scripture gives us of love as a willingness to give yourself for the sake of another. In truth, there is no one we should not love. So what if we followed our kids’ example and broadened the circle just a bit?
Sound off: What’s something your child has recently taught you?
Huddle up with your wife and ask, “What useful hacks for everyday life do our kids offer us?”