While I test the sump pump in my basement every year, a multi-day rainstorm last June is the first time I’ve ever seen it kick in. When one of our neighbors told me his pump couldn’t keep up with the rain, my teenage son and I went right downstairs to see how ours was doing. We watched the water come in and prayed it wouldn’t overflow. It was a few nervous moments, but he and I both breathed a huge sigh of relief as the pump finally kicked in and the water began to drain away. This kept up for a couple of days, as every half hour or so the pump turned on and expelled 25 gallons of water from my basement.
Later that night, I was thinking about the fact that our family had never faced a problem like this before. There’d been rainstorms in the past, but none that had put such relentless pressure on the water table around our house. And that’s a lot like the world my son is growing up in right now. Teens face many issues today that we didn’t have to deal with. As a dad, you’re probably already keeping an eye on things like peer pressure, screen time, drugs, alcohol, and pornography. But those aren’t the only dangers flooding our teens’ lives. There are many other things that could negatively influence our kids. Here are 5 new teen issues facing our kids today.
1. Overexposure
The dislike for a former Canadian prime minister was so strong that people had bumper stickers with the F-word followed by his name. You’d see these on cars, trucks, and minivans, parked outside of grocery stores, schools, and even churches. That lack of discretion bleeds over to the lewd imagery and song lyrics that fill our kids’ world. Teenagers are being asked to grow up quickly, and we can’t shield them from it. What we can do instead is use these moments to start a conversation. This could mean asking them what they think about a profane sign or talking about why it is important to look way during a racy scene in a show (or skip it entirely).
2. Living in the Age of Real-Time Information
Twenty-first-century technology has placed so much at our fingertips. The internet gives us access to the libraries of entire civilizations, and we don’t have to wait for the sports section tomorrow to see the stats and scores from our favorite teams. But that real-time information brings pressure with it as well. Kids don’t want to be far from their phones (day or night) because of what they might miss in a group chat or from a friend. And the instant feedback of a digital reporting system means my kid might see the mark he got on a test right before he goes to bed. If he gets a bad grade, his anxiety could go through the roof, and he could get a bad night’s sleep.
Teens certainly need us to help them navigate the things they’re seeing and hearing online. But they also need us to help them learn the best way to use the online tools they have. Having screen-free places such as the dinner table and bedtime can be a good place to start. This will help your teen learn to delay gratification: They don’t need to see every post and every update immediately.
3. How Video Games Have Changed
One of the more serious teen issues today is video games. I’m not just talking about content, but the very way they are now being designed. Tech developers have learned more about how the human brain works and have turned phones into dopamine slot machines. Every time the phone buzzes with a new notification, your brain wants to know what the reward is: a like, a message, or an exciting video?
Games are now being designed the same way. By logging in daily or completing certain challenges, you get visible rewards, setting off that pleasure center in the brain. To combat this, your kids need you to set guardrails for them around video games. One strategy might be to say that games belong on a console and then don’t allow them on cell phones or computers. This way, if someone is going to choose to play a game, it’s a deliberate choice rather than an easy opportunity when they’re bored.
4. The Pressure to Look Perfect
Whether it was the first day of school or a youth group dance, there are certain moments I remember working hard to make sure I looked my best. I’d brush my teeth, shower, put gel in my hair, apply deodorant (twice), and wear the nicest clothes I could find. I didn’t want to be the one who stood out as a slob. But the repercussions of a poorly planned outfit are a lot worse for today’s teens than those few snickers we might’ve endured as kids. Thanks to social media and the fact that nearly every teen has a phone in their pocket, a bad hair day could be captured on someone’s screen and posted for all to see—forever.
Because of that, many teens feel the pressure to look perfect every day. They check and recheck not only their appearance before heading off to school, but also their selfies before uploading a post. And when they’re out and about, they never want to be the one in the background of someone else’s post looking sloppy or messy. But our kids need to understand that there’s more to being human than one’s outward appearance. A teen’s character—how they treat others and how honest or responsible they are—is more important. I’m not saying they shouldn’t take care of their appearance; that’s important too. But it’s more than that. We need to help our teenagers understand that their worth is more than how they look in the mirror (or in a selfie).
5. Violence at School
One of the results of the increase in school shootings over the last few decades is that my kids’ school practices lockdown drills regularly. This probably isn’t something you grew up with. Today, our kids have to prepare for active shooters, and for some, the possibility that it could happen feels very real—and frightening. While some teens may be numb to lockdown drills because school shootings seem to happen so often, others see violence at school as one of the scariest teen issues today.
Whether your teenager is afraid or indifferent, be sure to check in with them. Ask about their days. Get a pulse on whether there’s any tension beneath the surface about school violence. They may not look outwardly nervous, but may think about school shootings and not know how to bring it up with you. Talking about what’s happening in our nation’s schools, and how it’s probably scary for you both, might make it easier for your teen to open up. You can also discuss the ways in which you, the school, and your community are trying to keep them safe. The thing is, our kids are growing up in a different world with different, and sometimes scarier, teen issues. Being there for your kids will help make being a teen in today’s world a lot easier.
Sound off: What are other teen issues facing teens today?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What is something that made you stop and think today?”