Why Struggles Are Good for Kids

Ep. 140 – Kids Benefit From Difficult Experiences. Here Are a Few.

Not making the team. Getting a poor grade. Going through a breakup. All of these things are hard experiences for kids. But, there is value in navigating difficult things. In this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast, host Ted Lowe is joined by BJ Foster and Bobby Lewis to discuss how kids benefit from hardship and how dads should resist the urge to rescue them.

Why This Matters
Kids don’t develop resilience by avoiding hardship—they develop it by learning to overcome it.

Key Takeaways
• Difficult experiences often become our greatest teachers and shape character.
• Waiting, boredom, failure, and struggle help children develop patience, perseverance, and emotional maturity.
• Dads should walk alongside their kids through hard moments instead of trying to eliminate every obstacle.

Practical Tips for Dads

1. Practice gratitude by helping your family recognize the growth that can come from difficult seasons.
2. Empathize with your child’s struggles without immediately trying to solve every problem for them.
3. Offer wisdom and encouragement while allowing your child to work through challenges on their own.

Important Episode Timestamps

[00:00] What Are Some Things That Are Surprisingly Good for Kids?
Ted introduces the episode’s central question and frames a conversation about why some of the hardest experiences kids go through are actually shaping them in ways that matter far more than comfortable moments do.

[00:51] Difficult Seasons That Changed the Dads for the Better
BJ, Bobby, and Ted each share painful setbacks that turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened to them.

[05:14] Heartbreak and Sadness Benefit Kids
BJ explains why loss and grief build empathy, humility, and a fuller capacity to love.

[07:07] Painful Experiences Prepare Kids for Life
Bobby reflects on taking his kids to a funeral and how their previous experiences with grief helped them handle it with more maturity than he expected.

[09:27] Waiting Is One of the Most Underrated Things Kids Do
Ted explains how being made to wait builds delayed gratification, patience, and emotional regulation that kids can’t get any other way.

[13:28] Boredom Is Good for Kids and Overscheduling Robs Them of It
Bobby praises boredom because it forces kids into problem solving, creativity, and using their imagination.

[16:03] Struggles Build Kids the Same Way Resistance Builds Muscle
BJ shares the story of the Oklahoma City Survivor Tree — an American Elm blown apart in the bombing that grew back fuller and more beautiful than before.

[18:10] How to Intentionally Introduce Struggle in a Safe and Fun Way
Bobby gives tips on giving kids a controlled environment to struggle, persist, and experience the payoff of finishing something genuinely hard.

[20:33] Failure Is One of the Greatest Teachers Your Kids Will Ever Have
Ted connects the career failures the guys shared at the top of the episode to what failure does for kids — building humility, perseverance, self-knowledge, and the grit to go back to the drawing board and come out stronger.

[22:55] This Week’s Pro Move
The next time your child faces something difficult, resist the urge to rescue them—instead, encourage them, empathize with them, and remind them you’re there while they work through it.

Sponsor:
The All Pro Dad Podcast is proudly brought to you by Family First, a nonprofit dedicated to equipping parents with resources to strengthen their families. Learn more at FamilyFirst.net.