“Money doesn’t grow on trees! Pull my finger!” Some dad phrases are goofy. But others? They can be quite hurtful, even if we don’t mean for them to be. In this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast, host Ted Lowe is joined by BJ Foster and Bobby Lewis to talk about common phrases we need to cut out.

Why This Matters

Words aren’t neutral with our kids. They are either helpful or hurtful.

Phrases That Make Kids Feel Small and Unheard

1. 1. “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.”

Instead, try: “It’s okay to feel sad/frustrated/scared. Tell me what’s going on.”
2. “What’s wrong with you?”
Instead, try: “That choice wasn’t like you. Help me understand what happened.

Phrases That Can Hurt Our Connection With Our Kids

3. 3. “When I was your age…”
   Instead, try: “I remember something like that growing up, but you are growing up in a different world than me. Explain it to me like I’m a martian.
4. 4. “You are making me crazy.”
   Instead, try: “I’m feeling really frustrated right now. I need a minute, and then we can talk about.” Or, “I’m having a hard time staying patient with this going on. Can we figure out a different way?”

Phrases That Can Mess Up How Our Kids See Authority and Even God

5. 5. “Because I said so.”
   Instead, try: “Focus on natural consequences and clear boundaries: “If you don’t pick up your toys, they’ll be put away for a week.”
6. 6. “I’m disappointed in you.”
   Instead, try: “I’m disappointed with that choice you made, and I know you can do better.”

Important Episode Timestamps

• 00:00 – 02:36 | Dad Phrases We All Say
  The hosts laugh through familiar dad lines like “Don’t make me turn this car around” and “Put on a sweater if you’re cold.”

• 02:36 – 04:09 | Southern Sayings and Dad Humor
  From “tear you out the frame” to “you make a better door than a window,” the guys swap regional dad-isms.
• 04:09 – 05:08 | The Big Question: What Should Dads Stop Saying?
  The conversation turns from funny to reflective—what phrases actually hurt our kids?
• 05:08 – 08:52 | “Stop Crying or I’ll Give You Something to Cry About”
  They unpack how intimidation-based phrases break trust and block emotional connection.
• 08:52 – 10:00 | “What’s Wrong with You?” and “What Were You Thinking?”
  Phrases that shame kids get replaced with empathy and curiosity about what led to their behavior.
• 10:00 – 13:05 | “When I Was Your Age” and “You’re Making Me Crazy”
  Comparing generations or blaming kids for frustration creates distance; the dads share better ways to respond.
• 13:05 – 17:52 | “Because I Said So” and the Problem with Authority
  The team explains how authoritarian phrases can damage trust and offers approaches rooted in clarity and love.
• 17:52 – End | “I’m Disappointed in You” and the Weight of Words
  The episode closes with a powerful reminder that words shape how kids see themselves—and their fathers’ love.

APD Pro Move:
This week, before you correct, question, or even joke with your child, pause for just one second and ask yourself, ‘Is what I’m about to say hurtful or helpful for my kid?

Sponsor:
The All Pro Dad Podcast is proudly brought to you by Family First, a nonprofit dedicated to equipping parents with resources to strengthen their families. Learn more at FamilyFirst.net.