5 Critical Places in Your Teen’s Life You Need to Keep an Eye On

Since I drive a late-model Jeep, I regularly take a quick look underneath to see if anything is amiss. This time, something was wrong: a puddle of transmission fluid. I called my mechanic, who booked me an appointment and advised I keep an eye on fluid levels in the meantime. Thankfully, the problem was a single, small rubber o-ring that had dried out. It was an easy fix, and a crisis averted–all because I was watching for trouble.

Keeping a regular eye on things is a good habit to practice both as a car owner and as a dad. Just like engine leaks and flat tires, there are trouble spots teenagers face in today’s world that dads need to stay on top of. Catching trouble spots early makes it far easier to help when parenting teens. Here are 5 critical places in your teens’ lives you need to keep an eye on.

1. Whose opinions matter to them?

Today, a parent needs to know who their teenager’s friends are in real life and online. Try to understand what they’re doing there. Are they trying to build a social media following? What are they willing to do for likes and follows? Knowing the communities they spend time in and the goals they have online could help you catch risky behavior before they get themselves into trouble. Sit down with your teen and look at their phone, discussing who they message most and which people or pages they engage with most often.

2. What are they afraid of?

People often think about fear as those silly things we’re scared of: the dark, heights, spiders, and so on. But there are deeper fears many teens (and adults) deal with, such as a fear of failing, missing out, or being alone. These deeper fears are often the root of people’s worst decisions. If you don’t know what your teenager is afraid of, ask. Knowing what your teen is really scared of means you can help them face their fears and direct them away from bad decisions down the road.

3. What role does AI play in their lives?

Recent advances in artificial intelligence leave us lots to worry about. Many parents are concerned about how AI might replace critical relationships in teens’ lives, including both friendships and those they might turn to for advice. Schools worry about how teens will use it to cheat on their homework. A recently launched platform called OhChat is offering lifelike avatars (in some cases of celebrities) that will allow intimate and pornographic exchanges between users and the AI. Learn what your kids are doing with AI, then discuss with them the benefits and risks it adds to their lives.

4. How do they deal with anxiety?

Anxiety seems to be becoming an expected part of childhood development. As kids grow into teenagers, their feelings of worry grow too. Teens sometimes compound the anxiety by trying to deal with everything at once. This can be overwhelming and often makes things worse. Others may try to avoid difficult situations entirely, which isn’t a good long-term strategy either. While you certainly want to know what causes your teen anxiety, you also want to help them learn to cope with it. Teach your teens to talk about the things that worry them, to work through them one at a time, and to recognize the unhealthy ways they might respond to adversity. (If your teen’s coping mechanism involves an addiction or self-harm, seek out help from a licensed mental health professional.)

5. Who do they turn to in a crisis?

It’s important that you get to know who the other significant adults are in their lives. If your teens are on a team, attend a youth group, or have a job, introduce yourself to the adult in charge. Knowing who these significant adults are helps you ensure your teen has good supports all around them to catch whatever issues they might be dealing with. As a parent, recognizing the other adults who are invested in your teenager will allow you to strengthen the support network around them. Find out who these people are, get to know them, and build a relationship with them.

Sound off: What’s another place to keep an eye on while parenting teens?