My kids are sneaking into the teenage years. Where did the time go? Diapers don’t feel that long ago, but here we are watching them turn into young adults right before our eyes. It’s both exciting and nerve-racking to watch your kids grow up. Some days, I feel like I’m soaking in every minute. Others, I feel like life is moving at 1,000 miles per hour. Whether you have toddlers or teens, the painful truth is your kids are going to leave one day.
When I shared these thoughts on X, I got hundreds of replies from parents with stories of how they didn’t realize they were throwing the baseball together for the last time or took for granted conversations in the car line at school. They’d do anything to go back. Parents everywhere feel the pressure to avoid missing moments with kids before they’re gone. It’s up to us to make every moment count. Here are 5 ways we waste time when kids are young.
1. Answering Them With “Maybe Tomorrow”
First, when kids ask you to play with them, what they are really asking is, “Do I matter to you?” Don’t stiff arm those bids for attention. Secondly, and hear me when I say this, you will run out of tomorrows. One day you will look back and wish you would have said, “Yeah, bud. Let’s go play.”
2. Choosing Work Over Play
Work is important, and I want my kids to know that. But they also must know it’s not more important than spending quality time with them. I love my job analyzing football. But the game film I need to watch will still be there after the kids go to bed. I don’t want to miss kicking the soccer ball or drawing together. Don’t give your kids the opportunity to wonder if you prefer work over parenting.
3. Focusing on Your Own Hobbies
I love golf. It’s a challenging sport that can never be mastered, which I find cool. But my kids like other stuff way more than golf, so I spend intentional time focusing on those. When we as dads learn more about what makes our kids happy, we cross a bridge into their world. We engage with them by bringing up their hobby. We get to talk about what they like and participate, too. They let you into their domain, and that’s way better than hitting balls on the driving range.
4. Leaving Tasks to Mom
Maybe your wife is a rock star. She is on top of all of the kid stuff, like school meetings, homework, and travel. But when we leave all that stuff to our wives, we are setting a bad example for our kids and possibly taking our wives for granted. We need to inject ourselves into the parenting game. Don’t sit on the sidelines and let your wife do it all. Lighten her load.
5. Watching Sports All Day
You’re probably thinking, “Dan, aren’t you a former pro athlete who talks about sports for a living on TV?” Yes, but even I recognize that watching sports all day, while enjoyable, isn’t best for my kids. I have to choose them over football games. There’s no replacement for one-on-one time. We are missing moments with kids when we constantly choose sports over them, and that’s not a trade I’m willing to make.
Sound off: How much time are you spending with your kids, and is that enough for them?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “If you could invent your own sport, what would it involve?”