I grew up in the Sunshine State where each football fan had a choice—cheer for the Florida Gators, FSU Seminoles, or Miami Hurricanes. The rivalries were very real, and you had to pick a side. I pulled for the Gators mostly, since I lived closest to the UF campus. Then I got to middle school. It turned out there were a lot of Miami fans at my school and, in a desperate bid to fit in, I went to the mall and bought a No. 11 Ken Dorsey UM jersey. I wore it proudly, paired with my extremely baggy jeans. I could not have named many other players on the team.
I thought that jersey was my missing ingredient. I thought it was my ticket to belonging. Turns out, it made little difference. Nobody really cared that I suddenly “supported” the Canes. I didn’t get invited to new parties. I not only bought a jersey I didn’t really like, but I also fell for the idea that it would open some doors for me. Looking back, I think we all do versions of this, hoping the thing we buy will actually deliver something deeper. The problem is, stuff rarely delivers. Here are 5 lies buying stuff sells us.
1. This will make you happy.
A friend told me about a woman she knew who fell in love with Amazon. She liked getting home from a long day at work and seeing a tiny package waiting on the porch. The dopamine hit felt good, so she kept ordering stuff online. The deliveries kept coming, and she felt good for a while. But her job didn’t get easier. Her life didn’t improve. Her spending didn’t increase her happiness. We can all fall into the trap of thinking new books, shirts, or shoes will provide a lasting high. They almost never do. First Peter 1:24-25 says “…The grass withers, and the flower falls, but the word of the Lord remains forever.” Amazon is full of things that will wither and fall.
Actor Jim Carrey once said, “I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.” If you’ve been chasing happiness through things, what are you really chasing? Are you lonely? Bored? Feeling unsuccessful? New stuff won’t fix these things. Go find contentment in lasting, positive things, like spending time with people you love, doing hobbies, and going places that provide you with good memories. Chase better things than stuff you can buy.
2. This will give you status.
The watch. The boat. The season tickets. Sometimes we buy things we don’t even want, but we know our neighbors will take notice. That purchase is no longer about enjoying the thing when we think this way. It’s about us getting status. We buy things to gain status because we think it will make us feel special, important, or better than others. We can feel like we’ve “made it” when we dine at the 5-star restaurant or hang the 100-inch TV on the wall. We feel superior, even if others disagree.
Buying for status is a never-ending cycle. It will always lead to a new thing. That’s how you’ll maintain your appearance. Instead of chasing status, focus on the wisdom from Proverbs 22:1, which says, “A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.” I’d say building a “good name” is better than trying to build status too. A good name is developed by good decision-making, care for others, and selflessness over time. This is a lesson we teach ourselves first and then to our kids. If you want to buy the new thing, go for it. But maybe ask yourself first, “Would I still want this if nobody knew I had it?”
3. This will define you.
You are not a country club member. You’re a person with a country club membership. There’s a difference. When our stuff becomes our identity, we start to work toward accumulating more noteworthy possessions, hoping to build a more impressive identity. That’s an issue, because an identity built on things that can be taken away, broken, or lost is a fragile identity. Consider how much it would hurt if you lost the possession. If it feels like you’d be losing part of yourself, that’s a sign you could be defining yourself by your things.
When we live for stuff, we start defining ourselves by what we possess. Who are we when that stuff goes away? We must find our identity in something higher. Psalm 139:17-18 says His thoughts about us outnumber every grain of sand on the earth. That tells me we’re immensely valuable. Our value doesn’t come from having things. It comes from being known and loved by God. Nobody can take that away.
4. You’ll be loved.
This is a bit of a fight in our home every December. I am of the opinion that we don’t need to buy our kids more than a few small Christmas gifts each. My wife really wants to spoil them at that time of year. I get it. But my pushback has always been guarding my children against the idea that stuff equals love. I don’t want my kids to grade my affection based on the number of items beneath the tree.
Adults do this too. We can flash our expensive gifts to show off. Or spend a bunch of money on something like a Disney trip or sports event to make up for not spending time together. This is an acknowledgment that we’re falling short. Don’t use money to buy your way out of that reality. Consider if you’ve begun using things to compensate for your time, attention, and presence at home. Don’t avoid problems in relationships by trying to buy love. If you or your kids’ Love Language is gifts, this can be especially tricky. Make the distinction in your home that you love each other for who they are, not what they’ve given you or what you can give them.
5. This stuff will satisfy.
In Matthew 19, the “rich young ruler” asks Jesus what he must do to inherit eternal life. Jesus said to him, “If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” Verse 22 says, “When the young man heard this, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.” Our stuff has a way of becoming the most important thing in our life.
This is another danger of materialism. “If I can just get enough, I’ll be happy.” But that’s a lie. Seeking satisfaction in things will make you less satisfied with what you already have. It’ll impact relationships because our friend’s house can become a reminder that yours is smaller. His car isn’t just nicer; it shows you’re “falling behind.” That comparison, which easily happens when we seek satisfaction from things, will rob us of contentment. Instead of worrying about what you don’t have, invest your time and effort in relationships and be grateful for what you already have.
Sound off: What dangers of materialism trip you up most?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “If you could buy anything in the world, what would it be?”