My wife and I saved money for years in anticipation of our 15-year anniversary. We wanted to see Italy, a part of the world we dreamed of exploring. Just a year before that trip, the whole plan changed. I lost my job of nine years. Money poured out of our bank account to cover food, the mortgage, and other basics. I kept applying for new jobs and getting no calls back. I put on a good face for my kids, but I was stressed. It was like a bad dream. Italy was gone, and so was comfort. I was running out of pennies to pinch. I felt like the suffering would never end.
Thankfully, I found a new job after 10 months of searching. I felt relief—until my wife broke her leg. An entirely different degree of suffering had arrived. Pain comes in waves. Mine felt like tidal waves. But eventually, it passed. As I look back, I can see the benefits of the suffering I endured during that extended period. As hard as it is, and it might be controversial to say, I think we need suffering in our lives. Here are 3 reasons to be thankful for suffering.
1. When you suffer, your endurance grows.
There have been plenty of times as an adult when I didn’t get invited to the social gatherings that I thought I would. These were hosted by neighbors or friends I knew pretty well. And the rejection—or what felt like it—stung and left me feeling lonely. I started wondering if I’d said something wrong. Were we not really friends? That sting lingered, but it inspired me to take more initiative. If I wanted to hang with buddies, I couldn’t just wait for the phone to ring. Slowly, I started building stronger bonds. That’s endurance born out of suffering. We get through hard things by not staying stagnant. Overcoming adversity is how endurance grows.
Endurance is persisting in one direction without wavering from the goal. And it’s not easy. Putting yourself out there and seeing slow or no results can feel like your suffering is intensifying. It can be demoralizing. But this is where your faith becomes a sturdy crutch. James 1:2-3 says, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance.” Endurance is produced in the low points. Ask God for a friend, a mentor, a new job, more patience, or whatever you need to keep enduring well. When this period in your life passes, you might be able to look back and see how much you endured, and your faith will likely be stronger for it.
2. When you suffer, you grow in character.
I can promise you this—my character grew because of my joblessness. Very early on after becoming unemployed, I got offered a contracting gig that paid pretty well. After working there for about a month, I realized it was very much out of alignment with my values. I had to choose between staying and cashing much-needed checks or backing out because it challenged my character. I ultimately walked away.
Suffering puts you in a position for growth. If your marriage is going through a rough season, you can grow in strength and kindness by continuing to honor your wife during disagreements. If someone is being a jerk to you after you make a mistake at work, you can take responsibility for the mistake despite your co-worker’s attitude. This can build humility and perseverance. Going through any struggle and choosing not to quit builds the inner strength that will help you in the moment and down the road when challenges arise again.
3. When you suffer, a door opens for hope.
Suffering can feel like a dark cloud that never leaves us. And if you don’t have hope, everything feels a few shades darker. I think political advisor Chuck Colson said it best: “I meet millions who tell me that they feel demoralized by the decay around us. Where is the hope? … Our hope is in the power of God working through the hearts of people.” If you’re suffering now, God hasn’t abandoned you.
Having hope is step one. It must precede results. Without it, you’ll stew in the suffering, wondering if it’ll ever end. With it, you’ll catch yourself looking for a change in your suffering at any moment. I think God is the one who provides that hope. When I’ve dealt with suffering, things haven’t always gotten better right away, but my hope didn’t fade because I never felt alone.
The next time you go through a period of suffering, remember that hope is key. I believe God is present during our suffering and helps us along the way. And if we look back, sometimes we can clearly see that He was with us through it all. And I believe He is with you too.
Sound off: What moment in your life was painful but helpful?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What are the benefits of suffering?”