When we were newly married, my wife and I naturally had to make a lot of changes and compromises, including how we both slept. I turn a lot through the night, and my dear wife found this out the hard way when, in my sleep, I elbowed her in the eye. She woke me up to tell me what I’d done. I responded with sarcasm: “How do know it was me?” That didn’t go over well, as you can imagine. One of our first arguments ensued. I should have bitten my tongue and just apologized.
Just because we think something, doesn’t mean we should say it. In fact, it’s better in many cases not to let it come out of your mouth. Biting your tongue is a skill worth honing. We need to learn to control what comes out of our mouths and think about the consequences of our words. Here are 4 times to bite your tongue.
1. When Hearing Gossip
When we hear news that makes our ears tingle, it’s so easy to pass it along. Many times, what we hear isn’t completely true, and sometimes its fabricated. We shouldn’t repeat everything we hear, but when we do repeat something, we’re responsible for our words. Instead of parroting others, we ought to check into it more and even then, decide if it ought to come out of our mouths at all—even if it’s true. Instead, it’s usually much better to change the subject or walk away from the gossip. At a minimum, bite your tongue.
2. When You’re Angry
Sometimes, words just fly out of our mouths when our emotions are elevated. We end up with tunnel vision and only focus on the catalysts of our anger. Just because we think of a cutting response doesn’t mean we should say it. Anger has a way of provoking us to hurt others with our words. It would benefit us greatly to just bite our tongues until after we’ve cooled down a bit. You can also diffuse a situation by asking if you can talk about it later.
3. When Accidents Happen
Accidents happen a lot with children. However, as adults, we can see what’s going to unfold in certain situations and expect our kids to know better, but they often don’t. My son Levi helped me press vinyl onto shirts. He made a couple mistakes, and I reprimanded him in front of everyone. He immediately left the room. I followed him and apologized, but the damage was done. I wished I had bitten my tongue. When our kids knock over the glass, or their plate flips off the edge of the table, or they make an honest mistake, bite your tongue. Don’t chastise them; instead, encourage them by helping to correct the accident. By doing so, you’ll deepen the relationship rather than strain it.
4. When Your Buttons Are Pushed
Some people know just what to say at just the wrong time. They know our weaknesses and what will set us off. When they push that button, and we respond, we give them control over our emotions. Instead, take a deep breath and bite your tongue. When you don’t give the response they’re expecting, you are in control of your emotions and can intelligently redirect the intended insult.
Sound off: Have you ever been told to bite your tongue? What did you learn from that situation?
