I hate when I hear someone qualify something with “…but I’m a good person.” I find that often people call themselves “a good person” to justify some action or behavior they know is wrong. They might say something like “I lied to my boss to get a day off, but I’m a good person.” It seems like they are weighing the good from the rest of their lives against some bad decision they’ve chosen to make. When we model this instead of values for kids, we aren’t giving our kids what they need.
Justifying bad behavior isn’t something I want my kids to do. I don’t want them to think making bad choices is OK just because they also do good things. I don’t want my kids to just be good—I want more for them. We all should. Here are 4 ways to teach your kids to be more than just a good person.
1. Practice integrity.
It’s been said that integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching. One of the best values for kids to learn is to be someone who practices integrity. Kids should aspire to be the person who says what he means and means what he says, the sort of person others can count on to do the right thing, no matter the situation.
2. Admit when you’re wrong, and say you’re sorry.
It doesn’t matter how old someone is—it’s often hard to say “I’m sorry.” That said, many relationships are ruined by people who are convinced they are never wrong. It’s important that you teach your kids not to be that person. No one’s perfect, and we shouldn’t expect our kids to be either. But taking responsibility for our failings is how we repair and grow. Be quick to say you’re sorry when you mess up, and accept your kids’ apologies right away.
3. Practice selflessness and humility.
Most kids tend to think and to act in selfish and self-centered ways. This can be easily seen when a kid doesn’t think about the custodian who has to clean up the messes kids leave behind, or when kids talk all about themselves without any concern for others. This is why it imperative to teach our kids selflessness and humility. These virtues will get your kids thinking about more than just themselves, and make their lives more rich.
4. Learn from your mistakes.
No one wakes up in the morning expecting to make a bad choice or hurt someone they care about. But at some point, everyone messes up. Your kid has a choice in that moment: hide from whatever went wrong or choose to fail forward. To help your kid be more than just good, teach them to make the times they might mess up an opportunity to learn and grow.
Sound off: What other values for kids will help them become more than just good people?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What would you do if a friend or sibling said you hurt his or her feelings?”