5 Things Dads Need to Quit

As a young child, both my parents were smokers. My younger sister and I didn’t like it but were helpless to change the situation, or so we thought. A commercial came out at that time where children went to their parents and simply asked them “do you love me?” with a puzzled look the parent answered “of course I love you”. Then the child simply asked “then why do you smoke?” My sister and I decided we’d try this approach and try not get grounded. We went to our mother and father seperately and while our mother continued to smoke, our father quit immediately.

Our children can be a big motovation for change.  Just by looking at them whie they sleep, we want to be better. Honestly we know we need to change. There are areas of our life where we just need to quit, like smoking, eating too much or over spending.  When certain habits or actions are detrimental it would behoove us to quit doing those things. Many times the actions or mindset we display may damaging relationships or hurting those around us as just like second-hand smoke. Here’s are 6 times we need to quit.

Quit Complaining

All of us have pain from the past, whether its being skipped over for a well deserved promotion tor being betrayed by a loved one.  We really have two responses, complain every time it comes up or use it for motivation to become better. We have 5 boys, so when they were younger I’d play 3 on 3 football with them. Andrew, the third born would always  have to play against one of his older brothers. He would complain being frustrated because they were bigger, faster, stronger. I would constantly encourage him saying, “son this is going to make you better, I promise”. He allowed the hardship to shape him. Fast forward to his sophomore and junior years in football where he made all conference and all state as a corner/safety playing against bigger an stronger players.

Quit Working Around Family

Our work schedules have morphed from the 9 to 5 our parents worked. With the increase of technology came the increase in access to work. It spills outside the workplace on a regular basis. However, for our personal family times, we need to safeguard these moments. One illustration I heard years ago made me focus on my family more on my children. Three boys wanted to play and they needed a fourth. One boy said ask your dad to play. The little boy excitedly ran in the house saying “daddy, daddy, we need one more player come on let’s go play”. The father who was sorting through a pile of papers said, “I’d like to but right now I have a million things to do.” the little boy walked outside frowning. His friends asked, “well, what did he say?” “He said he’d rather do a million things than play with me.” Quit working when its family time.

Quit Breaking Promises

Its easy to say what others want to hear, its another thing to actually follow though with the commitment. When we say we’re going to do something, its a promise because we gave our word. We need to be much more aware of making commitments and promises without thinking it through. When we give our word as a parent, our children count that as a promise. It’s OK to put conditions on our word like depending of the weather, or if I get off work in time. We need to quit being so hasty with promises and digilently follow through  on what we say we’re going to do.

Quit Procrastinating

There is a temptation to put things off until the last minute, this rarely ends well. We don’t do our very best when rushed. When we rush  because of our own carelessness, it increases stress. I don’t believe we need more stress than we already manage. You can start on a project and give yourself a time line to do a little at a time and complete it in advance. It’s a disipline we need to learn.

Quit Making excuses

We tend to justify our shortcomings with excuses. We think this somehow justifies our actions. It does not, it may make you feel better about your situation but others aren’t seeing that way. It’s much better if we own our mistake and apologize for it. This let’s others know you are taking responsibility for your actions and shows character. Quit making excuses.