Earlier this year, my Uncle Dave passed away, and his son spoke at his funeral. Dave was a hard working farmer, and my cousin spoke about how they bonded over baseball. Uncle Dave would be coming in after a hard day’s work on the farm, and my cousin would meet him in the yard between the barn and the house carrying a bat, a ball, and a couple gloves. My uncle, tired from the day, would always make the time to “hit some”—to toss the ball up and hit a variety of pop-ups, grounders, and line drives to my cousin (who later became an excellent third baseman for the high school team).
At the time, I’m sure he was tired and ready to rest, but these moments he shared with my cousin created a connection that lasted until my uncle passed away. Uncle Dave could have chosen to go into the house to relax, but he chose to sacrifice time to rest in order to be with his son. As dads, we make sacrifices for our kids every day. Here are 5 sacrifices of a father that our kids will never forget.
1. Rest
Like my uncle, dads are constantly sacrificing rest to spend time with our sons and daughters. When they are young, we get up in the middle of the night to change diapers and reassure them after bad dreams. As they get older, we spend time in the evenings helping them with their homework, and we get up early on weekends to take them to sports practices. Once they’re in high school, another sacrifice of a father might be staying up late making sure they get home safely.
Bottom Line: When they grow up and learn what it’s like to give up rest for the benefit of their kids, they’ll have a new appreciation for how often you did that for them.
2. Cherished Possessions
When I got my first real job, I bought a brand new truck. A couple years later, when my second child was born, I sold the truck and bought a more efficient “family vehicle.” As all dads know, kids aren’t cheap, and the majority of us could probably make a pretty long list of the stuff we would have if we didn’t have kids. But I think we would also agree that having our sons and daughters is infinitely better than all of that stuff. That stuff is a worthwhile sacrifice of a father.
Bottom Line: As they get older and start paying for their own stuff, your kids will start to appreciate that you spent years buying things they needed rather than things you wanted.
3. Time With the Guys
Before we start our families, we spend a lot of time with our friends. Once we become dads, our social world makes a quick change. Rather than hanging out with our buddies, getting together to watch the big game, having a poker night, or going out for a meal, we spend more of our free time going to youth soccer games, attending band concerts, coaching t-ball, and spending time with other kid-centered activities.
Bottom Line: Your kids will remember that you chose to spend you time with them rather than with others.
4. Hobbies
Having hobbies is important for us, but they can require a big investment of time, money, energy, and even space. Maybe you’ve had to reduce the amount of money you spend on a golf membership, the amount of time you spend fishing, or you turned your gaming room into a bedroom for your baby girl. Even though it might be difficult at the time, this kind of sacrifice of a father always pays off as we see the positive effects it has on our sons and daughters.
Bottom Line: When your kids find out that you sacrificed your passion in order to save money for their college fund or to pay for their travel team costs, they’ll be in awe that you cared that much about them.
5. Romantic Moments With Your Wife
We’ve all been there. It’s been a long week. You finally got your kids to bed. The bedroom door is locked. You’re looking forward to some peace and quiet with your wife. Then you hear the knock at the door. If you have young kids, you don’t have any choice other than to make sure they are OK. If you have high school and college kids like I do, you can try to pretend you’re already asleep, but they won’t go away until you’ve answered the door. As dads, we have committed to being there for them, even when it’s really bad timing.
Bottom Line: When their kids start knocking at their door, they’ll remember doing the same thing to you, and they’ll appreciate your willingness to answer their knock. (They’ll also understand why you might have seemed a little impatient sometimes.)
We shouldn’t totally give up these things. We still need to find time to rest, it’s important to maintain our friendships, we need to find outlets for our passions, and we definitely need to make sure we foster intimacy with our wives. But all of these areas change as we grow into our roles as dads. It can often feel like these sacrifices go unnoticed, but as our kids grow up and have kids of their own, they will remember and appreciate everything you have sacrificed.
Sound off: What is the greatest sacrifice of a father that you’ve ever witnessed someone make?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What are some of your favorite ways we spend time together?”