When my wife, Nancie, and I bought our first house in 2006, it needed everything. We basically purchased a floor plan and a cracked driveway. Back then, decisions were simpler. We picked materials from a few options at three stores. Now, thanks to Amazon, we all face endless choices. There are hundreds of products, countless reviews for each one, and dozens of suggested items to make the selection process even more complicated.
Ironically, in marriage, it can feel like the opposite, with almost no options. You finally get a sitter, go to your favorite spot, order the same meal, and talk about the same things. Halfway through, you realize this is exactly what you do every month! If you’ve ever wondered how to make marriage fun again, the answer might be simpler than you think. Routines and favorites are not the problem, but research shows your marriage needs you to break out of the usual. Here are 5 reasons mixing it up in your marriage matters.
1. Mixing it up boosts marriage satisfaction.
A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that couples who do new and exciting activities together report greater satisfaction and happiness. Why? Because new experiences create adventure, unpredictability, and shared positive emotions that strengthen connection. Dopamine, the “feel good” chemical, spikes during novelty, which is the same brain activity that fueled why you got together in the first place.
Mix it up: Instead of going to the same restaurant, try a food truck, a cooking class, or order takeout and set up a picnic in your backyard.
2. Mixing it up prevents a rut.
One of the biggest threats to marriage is the rut. Life gets predictable, and connection fades. A University of Virginia study found that couples who shared new experiences had stronger emotional bonds than those who just stuck to routine. Novelty helps couples avoid stagnation and keep emotional energy alive.
Mix it up: Plan a surprise day trip, explore a new walking trail, or swap your usual Friday movie night for dessert for dinner night.
3. Mixing it up improves communication.
New situations require teamwork. When you do something unfamiliar together, you have to talk, listen, and encourage each other in different ways. Trying a new activity, whether it is a dance class, a hiking trail, or cooking a recipe you have never attempted, forces collaboration and creates opportunities to laugh. These shared challenges strengthen your connection and teach you how to communicate better.
Mix it up: Learn a new skill as a couple, take a class together, or volunteer somewhere new so you can problem-solve and grow side by side.
4. Mixing it up keeps attraction and intimacy alive.
Attraction in marriage is about more than physical chemistry. Need proof? In another study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, researchers found that married couples who engaged in new and exciting activities together reported higher levels of satisfaction and closeness. In other words, trying something different as a couple can reignite the spark that brought you together in the first place.
Mix it up: Have a conversation about trying something new together—whether that’s a hobby, a shared adventure, or something fresh in your physical intimacy. Then set a date and time to make it happen.
Final Thoughts
Mixing it up in marriage means finding that sweet spot between adventure and security. The bottom line is that couples are happiest when they have both the comfort of trust and the excitement of something new. Too much routine, and marriage starts to feel like leftovers you’ve reheated one too many times. Too much change and you feel like you’re living on a roller coaster with no safety bar. The best marriages find a rhythm between the two. They stay steady but still try new things. When you do that, you’ll find more joy, more connection, and a marriage that you both love.
Looking for more ways to mix it up? Check out the All Pro Dad Podcast episode where we dive into just one question: “What small moves can improve your marriage?”
Sound off: What’s one way you keep mixing things up in your marriage?
Huddle up with your wife and ask: “What’s something new you’d love for us to try together?”