Are you a passenger parent? Yes, that’s a real thing. If you’re deferring to mom all the time or around your kids but not really engaged with them, you could be a passenger parent—just along for the ride. In this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast, host Ted Lowe is joined by BJ Foster and Bobby Lewis to talk about how to avoid falling into this trap and staying fully engaged with our family.

Why This Matters
Our kids need us to be fully engaged dads, not part-time parents.

What causes passenger parenting?

1. Lack of Confidence
2. Fear of Criticism
3. Cultural Conditioning
4. Overwhelm and Distraction
5. No Shared Game Plan

Action Steps for Dads

1: Step in without being asked.
Take initiative on tasks like meals, bedtime, or school runs.
2: Take full responsibility for some things.
Own a specific area, like sports schedules or bath time, from start to finish.
3: Learn the details.
Know your kids’ routines, needs, and important dates so you can act without reminders.
4: Stay engaged.
Put away distractions, focus on your kids and what’s happening in the moment.
5: Plan together.
Have regular check-ins with your wife to divide responsibilities and make adjustments.

Important Episode Timestamps

00:00 – 02:21 | The Viral Mime Video and Dad Judgment
The dads break down a trending video and how quickly people assume the worst about fathers.

02:21 – 03:12 | What is Passenger Parenting?
How do dads unintentionally slide into a passive role at home?

03:12 – 04:01 | Five Signs You Might Be a Passenger Parent
From avoiding car-seat duty to zoning out during homework, the dads describe the behaviors they often don’t notice.

04:01 – 05:21 | When Dad Checks Out Without Realizing It
Examples of common moments where moms carry the load while dads stand by without meaning to disengage.

05:21 – 07:17 | Why Moms Often Know More
The dads admit that moms are often more observant, organized, and in tune with kids’ needs.

07:17 – 08:20 | Solo Parenting Reveals the Gaps
BJ shares how parenting alone during his wife’s work trips forced him to learn details he normally relies on her for.

08:20 – 09:14 | Three Questions Every Dad Should Ask Himself
A simple self-assessment helps dads gauge whether they’re becoming a passenger parent.

09:14 – 13:07 | Don’t Wait Until Your Wife Hits a Breaking Point
BJ describes how taking tasks off his overwhelmed wife’s plate changed their home dynamic for the better.

13:07 – End | Developing Shared Leadership at Home
The episode wraps with encouragement for dads to learn the details, share responsibilities, and engage with intention.

APD Pro Move:
Schedule a conversation with your wife and ask, “Do you see me as a passenger parent?”

Sponsor:
The All Pro Dad Podcast is proudly brought to you by Family First, a nonprofit dedicated to equipping parents with resources to strengthen their families. Learn more at FamilyFirst.net.