“No. I don’t want to!” How many times have dads heard this? Is it defiance, or something else? Kids talking back is part of growing up. Dads need to know how to react when their children get mouthy. In this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast, host Ted Lowe is joined by BJ Foster and Bobby Lewis to talk about how to deal with this in our homes.

Defining “Talking Back”

For clarity, when we say “talking back,” we’re talking about those times when a child responds to a parent or adult in a disrespectful or challenging manner. Usually, they’re using a rude tone or phrasing when they do it, attempting to test boundaries, express frustration, or assert their independence.

Why This Matters

There are different kinds of “talking back,” and handling them all the same way could lead to friction in your relationship with your kids.

Key Takeaways

• -Talking back, or being “mouthy,” is developmentally normal.
• -Recognize that there are always reasons kids talk back. Common reasons are testing limits, frustration, attention-seeking, and imitation, especially with younger kids.

Practical Tools for Dads

When your kids get mouthy, try these techniques to better understand their behavior:

1. 1. Stay calm. Reacting emotionally can escalate the situation.
2. 2. Acknowledge their feelings. Try to understand what might be causing your child’s frustration and express empathy.
3. 3. Treat them with respect. If you want respect, you must give respect.
4. 4. Remind them of the parent/child dynamic. You’re the boss, no matter what.
5. 5. Focus on the message. Instead of getting caught up in the tone, try to understand the underlying message your child is trying to convey.
   
   

Important Episode Timestamps

00:00 – 00:55 | Introduction & Big Question of the Week
Ted, BJ, and Bobby kick off the episode asking: What do I do when my kid talks back?

00:55 – 03:13 | Personal Stories: Were You a Mouthy Kid?
The hosts reflect on their own childhood experiences with back talk—and how it shaped their parenting.

03:13 – 05:10 | Why Back Talk Pushes Our Buttons
From anger to curiosity: understanding the emotional reaction dads have when kids push back.

05:10 – 07:07 | Defiant vs. Dismissive: What Kind of Back Talk Is It?
Recognizing the difference between testing limits and signaling disconnection.

07:07 – 09:50 | Reacting vs. Responding: Fear-Based Parenting Doesn’t Last
Why discipline through fear is a short-term fix—and what to do instead.

09:50 – 13:36 | The Power of Curiosity: What’s Really Going On?
How one child’s sudden behavior shift revealed hidden grief—and what dads can learn from it.

13:36 – 15:15 | The Role of Imitation in Behavior
When kids mirror friends, media, or even you—it might be time for a pattern check.

15:15 – 17:58 | Practical Tools to Diffuse the Moment
From pausing to prompts like “Try that again,” quick responses that calm instead of escalate.

17:58 – 22:00 | Teach, Don’t Just Stop the Behavior
Why it’s critical to guide kids toward better responses instead of just shutting them down.

22:00 – 28:00 | Pro Move of the Week: Mouthy Kids Are Normal Kids
They need guidance, not shame. Get curious, stay calm, and be the steady voice they can grow from.

APD Pro Move:
Remember, mouthy kids are normal kids. They just need guidance.

Sponsor:
The All Pro Dad Podcast is proudly brought to you by Family First, a nonprofit dedicated to equipping parents with resources to strengthen their families. Learn more at FamilyFirst.net.