How do multiple kids, raised in the same home, turn out so differently? And how do they act nothing like you? The childhood expert on this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast says it’s all about their natural wiring. Host Ted Lowe talks with author Kathleen Edelman about temperament in childhood.

We are raising kids, not robots. We can’t treat them alike. That’s why dads should spend time learning their kids’ wiring and understand their own to create a loving atmosphere in their homes.

Why This Matters
Understanding our kids’ temperament better helps us love them better.

Key Takeaways

• -Personality and temperament are different: Personality is constantly changing. Temperament is innate.
• -Most miscommunication is not intentional: Differences in temperaments lead people to process information differently.
• -“Children are the purist in their temperaments until the world starts telling them differently.” – Kathleen Edelman
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What Are The Four Temperaments?

1. Melancholic (Blue) Kids

These are your task-oriented introverts, all about perfection and order. Think of the child who meticulously organizes their LEGOs or gets really focused on a detailed drawing.

Blue Strengths: Often very sensitive, honest, great with details, trustworthy, compassionate, and good listeners. They’re the ones who notice the little things.

Blue Weaknesses: Can be moody, prone to jealousy, sometimes pessimistic, might be judgmental of themselves or others, and can withdraw when overwhelmed.

Blue Innate Needs: They need to feel safe, appreciate sensitivity from others, thrive with support, and really need their space and silence to recharge.

2. Choleric (Red) Kids

These are your task-oriented extroverts, focused on power and control. Imagine the child who always wants to be the leader in games, organizes their friends, or is determined to finish a challenging puzzle.

Red Strengths: Super confident, self-sufficient, disciplined, can be very persuasive, logical in their thinking, and naturally competitive. They love a good challenge!

Red Weaknesses: Can be impatient, a little bossy with siblings or friends, might have a quick temper, can be inflexible when things don’t go their way, and often quite argumentative.

Red Innate Needs: They need loyalty from those around them, a strong sense of control, credit for their hard work and accomplishments, and lots of appreciation for their efforts.

3. Sanguine (Yellow) Kids

These are your people-oriented extroverts, all about people and fun! These are the life-of-the-party kids, always laughing, making friends, and bringing energy into the room.

Yellow Strengths: Have high energy and enthusiasm, really live in the moment, are super affectionate and joyful, and often apologize quickly if they mess up.

Yellow Weaknesses: Can be a little naïve, often quite loud, can be very dramatic, tend to be forgetful, and can get restless if they’re bored.

Yellow Innate Needs: They crave approval, really need acceptance from their peers and adults, thrive on attention, and absolutely soak up affection.

4. Phlegmatic (Green) Kids

Finally, we have the people-oriented introverts, all about calm and harmony. Think of the child who’s the peacemaker, always easygoing, and happy to go with the flow.

Green Strengths: Generally very easygoing, incredibly considerate of others, often super generous, usually happy and content, always helpful, and just genuinely friendly.

Green Weaknesses: Can be indecisive, sometimes surprisingly stubborn, can be a bit messy, might have a dry, sarcastic sense of humor, can be timid in new situations, and might be too compromising, sometimes giving up what they want to avoid conflict.

Green Innate Needs: They crave harmony in their environment, need a strong feeling of worth, really want a lack of stress and conflict, and deeply desire respect from those around them.

Important Episode Timestamps

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