How to Help Your Kids Learn from Failure

Ep. 136 – How Do I Raise Kids Who Learn From Failure?

Is your daughter struggling to tie her shoes? Did your son strike out to end the game? Did they fail the big driver’s test? Kids are going to fail throughout life. What will you say in the moment? In this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast, host Ted Lowe is joined by BJ Foster and Bobby Lewis to discuss why failure is an essential part of childhood. They explore why dads naturally want to protect their kids from failure, how failure builds resilience and wisdom, and offer practical ways to help children grow stronger through disappointment instead of rescuing them from it.

Why This Matters

Every child will fail. The question isn’t whether it will happen—it’s what happens after it does. Learning from failure is the first step to embracing it.

Key Takeaways

-Normalize failure. Failure isn’t a reflection of your child’s worth—it’s evidence they’re learning, growing, and taking healthy risks.
-Encourage healthy risk-taking. Kids develop resilience when dads create safe environments where trying, failing, and trying again are celebrated.
-Respond better than you rescue. The goal isn’t to remove failure but to walk with your child through it, affirming their value while helping them reflect and grow.

Practical Tips for Dads

1. Separate identity from performance. Remind your kids they’re loved regardless of success or failure.
2. Praise effort, courage, and character. Celebrate the willingness to try more than the outcome itself.
3. Process failure together. Listen first, acknowledge emotions, ask thoughtful questions, and help your child discover what they learned before moving on.

Important Episode Timestamps

[00:00] How Do We Help Our Kids Learn From and Embrace Failure?
Ted introduces the episode’s central question and sets up a conversation about why failure is not just inevitable but essential — and how dads can respond in ways that build confidence and resilience rather than shame.

[00:46] Striking Out and Running the Wrong Way, and More
The dads share their most memorable childhood failures.

[04:04] What J.K. Rowling’s Story Teaches Dads About Failure and Success
Bobby shares the surprising story of how J.K. Rowling was a broke single mom on welfare before Harry Potter made her a billionaire and credits her successes to her failures.

[05:30] How Do Your Kids Actually Handle Failure and Where Did They Learn That?
The dads reflect on how each of their kids responds to falling short.

[11:38] The Danger of Failure Becoming an Identity Instead of an Experience
BJ shares his biggest fear around his kids failing and why normalizing failure early is the best protection against that self-destructive mindset.

[13:38] Why Dads Should Read the Room After Failure
BJ and Ted discuss how to gauge the right response when a kid fails. They discuss how humor can often normalize the moment.

[17:02] Failure Is a Byproduct of Ambition, Not a Character Flaw
Bobby makes the case that when dads actively remove the stigma around failure, kids walk with more confidence because they understand that trying and falling short is part of the process, not proof that they’re not enough.

[18:07] Encourage Failure on Purpose — Give Kids Low-Stakes Chances to Fail
Ted and Bobby share examples of using DIY projects and hands-on tasks to intentionally give kids room to fail safely.

[21:37] Affirm Their Worth, Applaud Their Effort, and Redefine Success
The dads walk through three key responses when a kid fails — affirming that their value is never tied to their performance, praising effort over results, and redefining success in a way that makes showing up and trying the real win.

[26:54] This Week’s Pro Move:
This week, ask your child, “What did you fail at today?” Then tell them about one of your own failures and what it taught you.

Sponsor:
The All Pro Dad Podcast is proudly brought to you by Family First, a nonprofit dedicated to equipping parents with resources to strengthen their families. Learn more at FamilyFirst.net.