A father’s words can build his kids up or tear them down. They are powerful, and can stick with kids for the rest of their lives. That’s why we have to watch what we say. In this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast, host Ted Lowe is joined by BJ Foster and Bobby Lewis to talk about how often we (even accidentally) say the wrong thing and what uplifting things we should be saying instead.

Why This Matters
The words we use with our kids can build them up or tear them down. We must choose them wisely.

Things to Stop Saying to Sons
1. “You can’t do it.”
2. “You’re not strong enough.” Or “Don’t be a wimp.” 
3. “I’m disappointed in you.”
4. “I’m working on something important. You’ll have to wait.”

Things to Stop Saying to Daughters
1. “Have you gained/lost weight?”
2. “Stop being so dramatic.”
3. “You’re just like your mother.”
4. “Oh, but you’re so pretty.”
5. “If you had done ______, you could have done even better.”

How to raise a daughter or son with high self-esteem:
1. “I love you.”
2. “I’m grateful to be your dad.”
3. “I believe in you.”

Important Episode Timestamps

00:00:48 – 02:41 | Why Your Anger Isn’t Really About Your Kids
A breakdown of how stress and unmet expectations often sit underneath parenting frustration.

02:41 – 05:12 | The Hidden Triggers Behind Dad Reactions
How fatigue, pressure, and comparison quietly shape emotional overreactions.

05:12 – 07:36 | The Difference Between Discipline and Control
Why trying to control outcomes often damages connection more than it fixes behavior.

07:36 – 10:18 | Parenting From Pressure vs. Parenting From Purpose
How fear-based parenting creates tension and what intentional leadership looks like instead.

10:18 – 12:44 | How Stress Leaks Into Your Tone and Body Language
Why kids respond more to emotional climate than to the actual words you say.

12:44 – 15:03 | The 5-Second Pause That Changes Everything
A simple reset strategy to prevent escalation during heated parenting moments.

15:03 – 17:29 | Repairing After You Lose Your Cool
Practical steps for apologizing well and rebuilding trust with your kids.

17:29 – 19:58 | Teaching Kids Emotional Regulation by Modeling It
Why self-control is caught more than taught and what kids really watch for.

19:58 – 22:11 | Breaking the Generational Pattern of Anger
How awareness helps dads avoid repeating what they experienced growing up.

22:11 – End | The Dad Challenge: Lead Yourself First
A closing challenge to manage your own heart before trying to manage your child’s behavior.

APD Pro Move:
Give your kids a new affirmation every day this week.

Sponsor:
The All Pro Dad Podcast is proudly brought to you by Family First, a nonprofit dedicated to equipping parents with resources to strengthen their families. Learn more at FamilyFirst.net.