Modern dads are around their kids much more than men were a generation or two ago. We see their struggles more and have opportunities to fix things, but should we? In this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast, host Ted Lowe is joined by BJ Foster and Bobby Lewis to talk about supporting our kids without fighting all their battles.

Why This Matters
One of the best ways we can support our kids is to stand beside them as they fight their own battles.

Key Takeaways

• Modern dads are more involved: Research shows dads now spend 3–4x more time with our kids than men in the 1970s.
• But more involved can become “too” involved: More time gave rise to helicopter, lawn mower, bulldozer, and drone parents.
• Kids will always need support: It will change during every stage, but dads will always play a role in their kids’ lives.
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Action Steps for Dads

1. 1. Know When To Step In
   If kids have tried to overcome a challenge and still need help, Dad should be ready to step in. It isn’t about rescuing. It’s about protecting and equipping when they truly need help.
2. 
   2. Step In vs. Step Back
   Determine when things go from “hard” to “too hard.” If things are just hard, step back and let your kids handle them. If things become “too hard” step in and help. 
3. 
   3. Really Listen.

Listening doesn’t mean you always agree with your kid’s reasoning or behavior, it just means you care enough to really understand where they are coming from.

4. 4. Helping Them Process.

They don’t learn if we give them the answers. Helping them process, without doing it for them, is helping them grow.

5. 5. Be Their Biggest Fan.

Kids need is our words of encouragement, reassurance, and belief in them when they are having a hard time believing in themselves.

6. 6. Letting Them Struggle.

You can’t get stronger without the struggle of working out, learn a new language without the struggle of learning it, get through grief without facing it.

Important Episode Timestamps

00:00 – 00:43 | Parenting Has Changed Drastically
The dads compare today’s dads to previous generations and discuss how things have changed.
00:43 – 03:38 | Helicopter, Lawnmower, Bulldozer, and Drone Parents
A look at how parenting styles evolved—first hovering, then clearing obstacles, then aggressively removing all challenges.
03:38 – 07:03 | Tracking, Tech, and Emotional Helicoptering
The dads discuss the challenge of not swooping into kids’ feelings too quickly.
07:03 – 09:12 | Fixing vs. Helping
The dads reflect on rescuing kids from basic responsibilities.
09:12 – 12:27 | The Big Question: Support or Interfere?
How do parents know when to step in and when to step back? They dads explore patience, development, and natural consequences.
12:27 – 16:40 | Knowing When to Step In: Safety, Severity, and Seasons
The dads differentiate “hard” vs. “too hard” and share stories about bullying, coaching, and giving kids guided choices.
16:40 – 23:03 | Helping Kids Process Challenges Without Taking Over
Real examples of anxiety, academics, and emotional struggles and how dads can guide, listen, and encourage without taking control.
23:03 – 28:32 | Let Them Fail, Not Fall
A rock-climbing analogy illustrates healthy struggle. 

APD Pro Move:
This week, when you are tempted to jump in, pause and see if your kid can do it on their own.

Sponsor:
The All Pro Dad Podcast is proudly brought to you by Family First, a nonprofit dedicated to equipping parents with resources to strengthen their families. Learn more at FamilyFirst.net.