How Can I Connect With My Child?

Ep. 87 – How Can I Connect With My Kid?

Legendary football coach Tony Dungy spent all day thinking about Xs and Os. The last thing he wanted to do with his kids was play Madden video games after work. But, he grabbed the controller anyway because that’s what they wanted to do. In this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast, host Ted Lowe is joined by BJ Foster and Bobby Lewis to talk about how to connect with your child.

Have you ever felt like Tony? He told us this story during Episode 60. Connecting with our kids can be a challenge and it looks different throughout childhood. Today, we go list ways to bond with kids of any age and talk about the benefits of being intentional.

Why This Matters
The greater your connection, the greater your influence.

Key Takeaways

1. Bonding is good for you: Studies show strong connections lead to better health, a stronger immune system, and even a longer life.
2. Bonding takes work: Interests don’t always align between dads and kids. Bond requires intentionality (and sometimes sacrifice).

Tips for Dads with Young Kids:

1. Physically get down on their level
2. Find common ground
3. Remember, quality time matters

Tips for Dads with Older Kids:
1. Ask open-ended questions
2. Show you care
3. Respect their space

Important Episode Timestamps
00:00 – 00:55 | Introduction: The Connection Episode
Ted, BJ, and Bobby tee up the big question of the week: How do I deeply connect with my kids?

00:55 – 03:13 | Becoming a Harry Potter Dad
Bobby shares how reading his daughter’s favorite books helped build a bridge between their different interests.

03:13 – 04:36 | Why Connection Is a Core Human Need
From Maslow’s hierarchy to mental and physical health—why “love and belonging” matter most for kids.

04:36 – 08:46 | Get Low: How Physical Proximity Builds Trust
Whether it’s kneeling on paddleboards or drawing sidewalk chalk, getting on your child’s level fosters closeness.

08:46 – 12:13 | Find Common Ground, Even If You Hate Minecraft
Joining them in what they love—games, music, hobbies—opens doors to conversation and relationship.

12:13 – 14:03 | Quality Time: A Little Goes a Long Way
From spontaneous rituals to family activities and one-on-one hangouts—small moments carry deep value.

14:03 – 16:05 | The Coffee Shop Confession
A one-on-one coffee outing turns into a breakthrough conversation about pressure and perfectionism.

16:05 – 18:29 | Celebrate the Wins: Big or Small
When we see and affirm their growth, our kids feel safe, proud, and emotionally seen.

18:29 – 20:22 | Respect Their Space, Model Connection
Connection doesn’t mean control. Respecting their boundaries teaches empathy and invites openness.

20:22 – 21:52 | Pro Move of the Week: Ask & Join In
Ask your child, “What’s something you enjoy?”—then go do it with them. That’s how connection begins.