Tips for New Dads: What We’d Tell Our Younger Selves

Ep. 131 – Dad Advice I'd Give My Younger Self

All dads are a work in progress. We’ve yelled when we shouldn’t have. We’ve been impatient and overreacted. If you could go back and tell your younger self something, what would it be? In this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast, host Ted Lowe is joined by BJ Foster and Bobby Lewis to talk about most dad wisdom comes through experience and giving yourself grace is a must.

Why This Matters

Many dads carry pressure they were never meant to carry. We think we have to get everything right, fix every problem, and shape every detail of our kids’ futures. But parenting is less about control and more about presence, consistency, and connection. Looking back on fatherhood helps dads identify what truly mattered—and what didn’t—so they can parent with more peace, wisdom, and intentionality today.

Key Takeaways

-Parenting gets healthier when dads learn to respond instead of react.
-Kids do not need constant entertainment or problem-solving from parents in order to grow.
-Empathy helps children process emotions without removing accountability.
-Dads often underestimate how quickly childhood passes.
-Consistency, humility, and apologizing to your kids build trust and security.
-Bringing kids into your world creates lasting memories and deeper relationships.
-Kids are born with unique temperaments that dads are meant to nurture, not completely reshape.
-Choosing family over work and distractions pays lifelong dividends.

Practical Steps for Dads

1. Pause before reacting when your kids frustrate you. Create space for wisdom instead of responding emotionally.
2. Let your kids experience boredom and manageable problems instead of rescuing them immediately.
3. Practice empathy by helping your kids identify and process emotions calmly.
4. Be intentional about enjoying the current season of parenting instead of rushing toward the next stage.
5. Apologize when you fail. Humility strengthens your relationship with your children.
6. Prioritize your family over unnecessary work, distractions, and commitments.
7. Create one-on-one experiences with your kids by bringing them into your world whenever possible.
8. Focus on nurturing your child’s personality instead of trying to force them into someone they are not.

Important Episode Timestamps

[00:00] What Would You Go Back and Tell Younger You as a Dad?
Ted introduces the episode’s central question and frames an honest, encouraging conversation about the wisdom, mindset shifts, and simple reminders that would have made the early years of fatherhood a little easier.

[00:37] Relax and Stop Rushing to the Next Season of Parenting
BJ shares how anxiety over milestones like potty training robbed him of enjoying the moment, and why he’d tell his younger self to slow down and soak in each season before it disappears.

[05:15] It’s Okay for Your Kids to Be Bored — and You Don’t Have to Solve All Their Problems
Bobby reflects on how overscheduling and problem-solving everything for your kids actually gets in the way of their growth, and why boredom and struggle are two of the best things you can give them.

[06:52] Pause Before Responding and Lead With Empathy
Ted shares how learning to pause before reacting and offering simple empathy instead of discipline or quick fixes would have changed countless moments with his kids for the better.

[08:24] Kids Come Out a Way — Stop Trying to Completely Reshape Them
Ted unpacks the hard-wired reality that children arrive with built-in temperaments, and why the dad’s real job is to nurture who their kids already are rather than trying to manufacture a specific outcome.

[10:10] Keep Being Real and Keep Being Fun — Your Kids Need Both
BJ encourages dads to keep modeling honesty and imperfection with their kids, explaining how admitting you don’t have it all together actually helps kids relax about who they are and builds genuine confidence.

[13:35] Keep Apologizing When You Fail — It Models More Than You Know
BJ reflects on the power of pulling his kids aside after blowing it, saying he was wrong, and asking for forgiveness — and why that habit modeled accountability and repaired the relationship more than anything else could.

[15:06] Embrace Failure — Good Dads Fail Their Way Into Wisdom
Bobby shares a memorable kayaking mishap as proof that parenting mistakes are inevitable, and why the goal isn’t to be perfect but to learn, adjust, and not make the same mistake twice.

[17:47] Embrace the Hard — Raising Kids Is the Most Important Thing You’ll Ever Do
Bobby reminds dads that there are no instruction manuals for parenting, and that the difficulty of the job is exactly what makes it worth showing up for with grace, grit, and intentionality.

[18:14] This Week’s Pro Move: Write a Letter to Your Younger Dad Self
Take five minutes this week and write down what you would tell your younger self as a dad—both wisdom and encouragement—and keep it somewhere you will see regularly.

APD Pro Move
Take five minutes this week and write down what you would tell your younger self as a dad—both wisdom and encouragement—and keep it somewhere you will see regularly.

Sponsor:
The All Pro Dad Podcast is proudly brought to you by Family First, a nonprofit dedicated to equipping parents with resources to strengthen their families. Learn more at FamilyFirst.net.