When my kids were little, no matter how tired I was from work, I always loved turning into our neighborhood. I knew that no man on earth could be greeted more sincerely and more excitedly than I was about to be greeted. Upon walking through the door, I’d spot three little humans who’d scream, “Daddy!” Then they would come running and attack me in the best way. I loved that then. I love it even more now.
Reconnection at the end of the day changes as kids grow. Instead of a loud “Daddy” making you excited, you get excited if your kid looks up from their phone. Sometimes it’s them walking through the door and hoping they’re not in a mood. Regardless, daily moments of reconnection are sacred. What’s necessary is over, and what matters begins. So how do you leave work at work? Here are 7 ways to make reconnecting at the end of the day great.
1. Give it your best to leave work at work.
Easier said than done, right? Work doesn’t magically disappear the second you turn off the car. Your boss’s email, the deadline you didn’t meet, or the meeting that went sideways can stick to you like Velcro. But your kids don’t know about your inbox or your stress levels. They only know the version of you that walks through the door. If you bring home the weight of work every day, they’ll remember that heaviness. On the flip side, if you can set it down (even if you pick it back up later), they’ll remember that their dad knew how to show up for them.
One practical solution is to give yourself a “transition ritual.” On the drive home, turn off the work calls and listen to music or a podcast that lightens your mood. That way, by the time you hit the driveway, you’ve shifted gears from employee or boss to dad.
2. Take a quick breather if you need it.
Some dads think they have to come home ready to go full throttle the second they step inside. The truth is, sometimes the best move is to hit pause before you ever walk through the door. If you’re running on fumes, give yourself a few minutes in the car or on the porch to reset. Take a deep breath, say a quick prayer, or just sit in silence for a moment. That short break can help you leave the day behind so you walk in ready to be present, not distracted or drained.
3. Put the phone away.
There’s nothing that kills a moment quicker than a dad walking in the door with his eyes glued to a glowing screen. Kids may not always say it, but they feel when they are second place to a text or an email. Putting your phone down doesn’t just free up your hands for hugs. It sends a loud and clear message: You matter more than anything else right now. You can always check scores or answer emails later. But you’ll never get back the once-in-a-lifetime chance to be greeted at the door by your kids at the ages they are right now.
4. Smile and make eye contact.
This one sounds almost too simple. But think about it: How often do you light up when you see your kids, versus just sort of glance their way? When you look them in the eye and grin big, you’re saying, “I love you, and I like you.” Kids soak up our facial expressions like sponges, and they replay them in their heads far longer than our words. So when you walk in, give them the kind of smile that says, “I’m glad to be here, and I’m glad to see you.” It costs you nothing, but it can mean everything.
5. Create a silly tradition.
Every family has its language and traditions. Why not make your daily return one of them? Maybe you do a special dance, put your shirt on backward, or you scoop them up and spin them. If you’re married, kiss their mama first. It reminds everyone that the OGs are solid and celebrated. Traditions don’t have to be fancy. They just need to be consistent. Years from now, your kids may not remember what you did for a living, but they’ll never forget that you barked like a dog every time you walked in.
6. Monitor your mood.
Kids are like emotional detectives. They can tell instantly if you’re in a good mood, a bad mood, or somewhere in between. That doesn’t mean you have to fake happiness if you’re stressed, but it does mean you should be aware of what you’re carrying. If you consistently walk through the door sighing, grumbling, or snapping, that will become “normal” for them. And normal has a way of sticking. On the other hand, if you intentionally keep your mood in check, even when you’re tired, they’ll see a dad who doesn’t let the day dictate who he is at home. You don’t have to be perfect, but being intentional here makes a huge difference.
7. Play like a kid.
Once upon a time, the moment you walked through the door, you were tackled and forced into a wrestling match on the carpet. As kids grow, play looks different. Maybe now it’s shooting hoops in the driveway, playing catch, playing a video game, or sitting on the couch and laughing at memes together. The point is the same: You connect through fun. Play lowers walls, diffuses tension, and builds connection like nothing else.
If you want your kids to remember your arrival as something they look forward to, be willing to step into their world and play, even if you’re worn out. On days you are exhausted, play hide-and-seek by grabbing a stuffed animal and hiding/sleeping in the bathtub. It will take a while for them to find you, and they will think you are hilarious. If they are too old for hide-and-seek, throwing tennis balls at them in the backyard is always a great time for everybody involved.
Final Thoughts
The way you walk through the door each day might feel ordinary, but over time, it becomes a story your kids will tell. One day, they’ll look back and remember how you entered their world after a long day. Will they remember a dad who always seemed too busy, too stressed, or too distracted? A man who didn’t know how to leave work at work? Or will they remember a dad who smiled, hugged, played, and made that moment sacred? You don’t have to get it right every day. But if you get it right most days, you’ll give them a memory that will outlast deadlines, emails, and tired evenings.
In the end, walking through the door is your chance to remind your kids you love being their dad.
Sound off: How do you leave work at work? What’s your go-to way of reconnecting with your kids when you walk through the door at the end of the day?
Huddle up with your kid and ask: “When I get home from work, what’s your favorite thing for us to do together?”