One of the many classic mistakes I achieved early in my marriage with Rebekah was that of believing my wife when she said, “Valentine’s Day is such a contrived holiday. It’s much better when giving is spontaneous and authentic.” Yes, we were that kind of young, romantic idealists. So – cleverly, I thought – I took her out to dinner the week before Valentine’s then planned to give her flowers a couple of days after the expected day. “She’ll love this,” I thought, “I’m so good at romance!” Boy, was I naive!
Romance your wife, especially on the day every other woman she knows is getting flowers!Lesson learned: Romance your wife, especially on the day every other woman she knows is getting flowers! If you’re always authentic, spontaneous, and romantic, then what’s the harm of playing along? If you really do have the Valentine’s Day blahs, and you’re not sure how to get past the cynicism, don’t despair. Here are a few Valentine’s Day ideas for demonstrating your devotion without looking like the guy who grabbed a tacky gift at the Seven Eleven on your way home.
1. Avoid being predictable:
Keep her guessing. Not guessing if you love her, but guessing what unique, creative, quintessentially you, offbeat scheme you’re going to come up with next! Unpredictability can be romance gold.
2. Start the morning with something sweet (and keep it up all day):
Romance doesn’t have to be expensive, just inventive. Here are some jump-start ideas: Surround her coffee cup with rose petals. Have a fresh, warm, Krispy Kreme donut ready for her in the morning (if she likes that kind of thing). Coffee in bed. Kiss her eyelids awake. Make the kids’ lunches before she gets to the kitchen.
3. Find a dozen ways to say, “I love you,” and “You are beautiful” (use them all day long):
Get a thesaurus and say things like, “You are stunning, exquisite, and dazzling, my love.” Play her favorite love song. Sing her favorite love song. Put “I love you” on her answering machine. Shoot various I love you texts all day. Place a single flower on her desk with a single chocolate. Hang a message on her rear-view mirror.
4. Write a “Reasons I love you” list – one for each year you’ve been married:
Everything from, “You make me feel valuable,” to “It’s exciting to be around you,” to “When you hold my hand in the mall, it makes me smile inside.”
5. Surprise her with something romantic a few days before the holiday:
Again, no need to spend lavishly, this is an occasion to think lavishly instead. You know what floats your wife’s romance boat, so invest some thoughtfulness that says, “I don’t have to wait for Valentine’s Day.” Then what you do on the holiday is gravy.
6. Leave a series of love notes around the house/car/her office that she’ll run into all day long:
This one requires a little planning. You can use the same expressions you thought up in #4 if you need to. The point here is the extra thoughtfulness and the day-long reverberation of your epic romance!
Huddle up with your wife and say, “Do you know why I love you?”