Former United States President Harry Truman’s father struggled his whole life to seek out a living as a farmer. Unfortunately, a drought hit and he had to foreclose on the farm. Many years later, a reporter asked Harry why his father was a failure. Harry replied, “How can my father have been a failure when his son is President of the United States?” Harry’s father was hardworking, but unfortunately he died thinking of himself as a failure. And yet, his son became president.
Our kids are going to experience failure, in fact it’s good for them. It gives them the opportunity to learn things they wouldn’t otherwise. More importantly, it gives them the opportunity to grow stronger, overcome, and gain confidence. But in order to do that we have to guide them through it. Here are the 10 things to teach your kids about overcoming failure.
1. Losing teaches us.
Somewhere along the line we became convinced that our kids are too weak to lose. Our kids can handle losing. They know we’re patronizing them, but worse, it makes them feel like we don’t believe in them. Losing is every bit as important to growth as winning. Rewarding your child for doing nothing will teach him just that. Nothing.
2. We all have different talents.
Maybe your daughter wants to be the next Taylor Swift. Then you hear her sing. Your son wants to be Ohtani, but he can’t hit a ball off a tee. There are just some things we aren’t cut out for. It’s best to learn that at an early age. The good news is that your children are all a champion at something. Guide them toward their gifts.
3. Having character is most important.
Are you teaching your children how to fail with dignity? Our true character is shown when our circumstances are at their worst. That’s when we find out who we truly are. If we show class, maturity, dignity, and honor during those moments then we can have confidence in our character.
4. We learn from mistakes.
“I think and think for months. For years. Ninety-nine times the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right.” Who said that? Albert Einstein. Mistakes humble you. They can hurt. Yet without them, we are stagnant. Every mistake we make is an educational experience. Every success is built upon a foundation of errors and corrections.
5. It gives us wisdom to share.
When we fail, we gain experience. It’s important to share that knowledge. Use it to mentor others experiencing similar difficulties. Instill in your children the responsibility to share their mistakes in hopes to save another from making the same.
6. Don’t be afraid to give your best effort.
Boxing legend Joe Frazier once said, “If I lose, I’ll walk away and never feel bad because I did all I could. There was nothing more to do.” The most common phrase in sports has to be “leave it all on the field!” Explain to your kids to never cheat themselves on effort and they will always gain from it. No matter the outcome.
7. It’s an opportunity to build perseverance.
Determination wins many victories. We should not allow our children to give up on themselves. Maybe your son has brought home two straight failing test grades in math. He thinks there is no way he will ever get it. Help him pick himself back up and try again. Perseverance eventually will lead to positive results and a lifelong lesson never to be forgotten.
8. It teaches us how to win.
It might sound obvious, but knowing how to win is the easiest way not to lose. For instance, your son is selling popcorn for the Boy Scouts. He knocks on two hundred random doors and sells twenty packages in four hours. A lot of effort for little gain. The next day he sets up a stand in front of a busy grocery store. Uniform on. Charm intact. He sells two hundred packages in a single hour. Which was the most successful tactic? Game planning is an essential part of a successful life.
9. We need to define success.
Looking into the future, what do you wish for your son? I’m guessing happiness tops that list. He’s a respected and honest man. Has a loving wife and a family of his own. I highly doubt you would look into the future and hope he has an awesome car, multiple girlfriends, he’s shallow, and in it for the money. Yet, that’s exactly what’s marketed at him. Society teaches shallowness to be equal to success. As a parent, it’s up to you to define success.
10. Having a sense of humor helps us endure.
There are times in life we are going to do really stupid things. The ability to laugh about it sure makes those moments a lot easier to deal with. When you make mistakes in front of your kids, set that example. Don’t curse and scream. Just shake your head and laugh. It happens.
Sound Off: When did you use a mistake to teach your kids about failure?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “When was a time that you failed? How did you handle it?”