I poked my head in the door as my teenager got ready for her first day of school. “You excited to see all your friends tomorrow?” Her response to jumping back into school routines was not what I expected—a shrug and a halfhearted, “Yeah, I guess so.” I pressed her on it: “What’s the matter, kiddo?” She went on to explain she was nervous as she hadn’t seen some of her friends all summer. Would they still be close? Would they be better friends with others they had seen more? On top of that, she was worried about a few classes and had heard bad things about one of her teachers. In short, she was riddled with anxiety over all the uncertainty of the new year.
Unfortunately, this is not uncommon with our kids. The uncertainty of the new school year can be fertile ground for fear. But it’s possible to create a rhythm for your kids that equips them to start the school year with confidence. Here are 5 transformative routines for a new school year.
1. Walk together.
When my oldest daughter was at the height of teenage drama, my wife and I realized we needed to develop some new school routines that could help her navigate the turbulent high school days. We knew she needed exercise and connection with us, so I began asking her to go on walks with me daily. We’d wake up every morning at 5:30 a.m. (I still can’t believe she said yes!) and go on a brisk 30-minute walk. Sometimes we would talk the entire time, other times we’d hardly say a word. But it created a healthy physical and familial outlet for her when she needed it most. Sure, early mornings may not be possible. But you could instead walk in the afternoon or evenings. The key isn’t the time but the consistency.
If you’re looking for transformative school routines, invite your child to take a walk with you.
2. Read together.
We have clear categories for reading to young kids, but what about older ones? When our kids were teens, we’d do our best to take 5 or 10 minutes before bed to sit together and read Scripture. Maybe you want to read a poem or a page of a favorite novel. Whatever it is, the key is that you’re reading together. This creates connection and gives you an opportunity to introduce them to ideas that can keep them grounded and growing intellectually and spiritually.
If you’re looking for transformative school routines, consider introducing a regular rhythm of reading together.
3. Eat together.
Everyone has to eat, but often we’re scarfing down dinner en route to the next activity. Sometimes this can’t be helped. However, you can still prioritize eating together. During a particularly busy season of our kids’ lives where everyone eating together literally felt impossible, we began sharing a 15-minute snack time before bed each night. We’d get a rare treat (like tropical fruit) and sit around eating it and sharing about our days. It was a lot of fun and created a point of consistency and connection.
If you’re looking for transformative school routines, look for ways to regularly eat together.
4. Play together.
Sometimes we are so busy just making it through the day that we forget to make time for play with our kids. If they’re younger, this is pretty straightforward. You stop and play cars for a few minutes or kick a ball around or wrestle on the floor with them. However, even older kids and teens need to play with their parents. Play for teens might look more like video games or shooting hoops or tossing a ball or dancing to music together. Whatever it is, playing with your teens communicates that you don’t just love them but you actually like them. And kids need to know they’re likable.
If you’re looking for transformative school routines, look for ways to regularly play with your kids.
5. Pray together.
Whether it’s grades or friends or sports, there’s a lot kids tend to be anxious about. And the craziness of our schedules can actually exacerbate that anxiety as it creates a frenetic feeling around life. Your kids need to be connected to someone beyond themselves and reminded that they are cared for and that there is One who is working on their behalf, even when things are hard. They also need to create a regular rhythm of stopping, breathing deeply and letting go of what is troubling them. A practice of daily prayer with your child, whether before school or before bed or some other time, can keep them grounded and hopeful even when things are hard.
If you’re looking for transformative school routines, introduce a practice of prayer with your kids.
Sound off: What school routines does your family have, and how does your family benefit from them?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What is one thing we could begin to do regularly together that you would enjoy?”